About two years ago, I decided to join the Dance Ministry at my church. I was 42 years old and had never studied dance. Dance was something that I wanted to do, but as a child was too chicken to try. It was one of those things that I spent a great deal of time telling myself I couldn't do because I wasn't pretty, wasn't coordinated, to skinny, blah, blah, blah - the list of 'I can'ts" were endless. Well, as I got older, I set myself on a path to correct a lot of things that had shaped my life (in a negative way) and dance was one of those things. I'd sung all my life and was very comfortable, confident and capable. But, to get up in front of a crowd of people and move your entire body around - was a different story entirely. Not to mention, I don't have a dancers, tight, taught, rippling, slim body. So, there were many, many things working against me - so I thought. Well, I started, loved it, adapted to it faster than I thought I would, laughed at the humorous comments, humbled myself at the positive comments and let the negative ones propell me to work even harder at it.
About a month ago I received an invitation from the church where my oldest son serves as minister of music. They were asking me (of all people) to do a worship dance for their pastor's anniversary. Well, after all that I had endured, all the inner growth, etc. my most immediate response was NO. I had some pretty good reasons too: "I'm not that good of a dancer", "Are they sure they want ME", "They really need someone more experienced"......blah, blah, blah. So, I gave my chicken-hearted answer and thought that was the end of it - but it wasn't.
The next 48 hours were almost unbearable - my spirit tormented me: "How can you have told your children all their lives that they can do ANYTHING - but you don't believe it for yourself....hypocrite!!". "After all these years, you still don't have any faith in God or yourself". "What makes you think you have the right to refuse an opportunity from the Lord". "Do you know how many people would love to be in this position". "If you don't take this chance, you will wonder all your life what you could have done".
After hearing all those things repeatedly, I humbled myself and changed my no to a YES. To my suprise, I wasn't afraid, nervouse, intimidated or anything of the sort. I was guided by the holy spirit to the right song, right outfit, right moves, everything. It was truly a time of surrender and breakthrough for me. I can't even describe the feeling of freedom and confidence that this one experience gave me. I realized that it wasn't so much what others said that held me back from one of my dreams, it was mostly what I was saying to myself that put a glass ceiling over my life.
So, whatever your fears are, whatever it is that is holding you back from doing (or at least trying) that thing that you've wanted to do all your life, grab hold of it and CHOKE IT TO DEATH!! LOL!! There is so much livin' that is waiting for you - they said, he said, she said - well, what do YOU say?? Conquer your fears, if you are speaking negative in your own life, re-direct your thoughts to a more positive level and your words and actions will soon follow.
"Nothin' beats a failure like a try". (Rosie Moore - my mama)
