OK....time for an update

It has bee 27 months since I took the plunge into the wonderful world of BRAIDLOCKS!!

.......and what a ride it has been. I can remember it taking 1 week to retighten my 435 locks. Over these 27 months, I have combined about 15 of them - and birthed a new baby in my temple area. I have always been a little thin in my temples (I inherited that one from my mother) but since I started locks and stick to my vitamin regimine, my temple started to look like a little afro, so I decided to start a baby lock and I'm glad to report she is doing very well:

My practice of caring for my locks remains the same.......LESS IS MORE!! Because I am dancing and exercising more, I found that I MUST wash my hair more frequently or else my scalp will get NASTY!! (had that happen once - it wasn't pretty). I also know that WATER IS MY FRIEND - both inside my body and directly on my hair.

So, here is my update pics. On the left is the day after I finished installing my braidlocks (December 19, 2008) and on the right is the pic I took TODAY (March 11, 2011).

Not too bad if I do say so myself!!

I still get asked if they are Sisterlocks and I very quickly say "NO". I think Sisterlocks are wonderfully beautiful and I do appreciate my homade DO being compared to the work of trained professionals - but I also take pride in the amount of time, patience, attention and TLC I give my own hair. So, thank you for taking the time to read my little "PAT-ON-THE-BACK" post.

Peace and Light!!

Afrolady

Speak Life!!

For those of you who don't know, Iyanala Vanzant recently appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show after an 11 year hiatus.

The first of two shows aired during my train trip back from helping care for my mother after her fall in December. Now, even though I don't watch Oprah that much, I was heartbroken at the thought of missing this episode because I am a HUGE fan of the high priestess. I have followed, learned and grown from her work over the years and was very excited to hear she would be on TV again. Other than my Mama, if I had to pick 2 women who inspire me and I most wanted to be like, I would have to say without a doubt Susan Taylor and Iyanala Vanzant.

Because I missed the airing of the show, I was forced to watch a series of bad quality videos posted up on YouTube. Even though the quality of the clips were questionable at best, it was still enough to hold captive my attention for it's duration, which is not easy to do.

It would seem to me that what happened between these two dynamic Divas was a direct result of a series of misunderstandings with a little bit of 'crazy' thrown in, just for fun.

The conversation between Oprah and Vanzant began with a heartfelt apology from Iyanala after a very intense embrace by two sistahs who have deeply missed each other. Two things Iyanala said stuck out in my mind: "Some crazy a pill can't fix"......"I need you to hear me on this Oprah, really hear me". Those two statements bring me to the point of this writing.

How many of us have had conversations with people (child, sibling, friend, mate, boss, etc.) only later to discover that what you "said" and what they "heard" were two completely different things? Too many relationships, marriages, etc., have been ripped apart over the difference between what 'I' said and what 'they thought' they heard.

I just finished reading a book entitled "The Fifth greement" in which the author speaks in great detail about being impeccable with your words and not taking things personally. How many people do you know have quit jobs because of their perception of the treatment the received from their boss or coworkers?

Now, my friends know that I watch "Real Housewives of Atlanta" weekly and will sit down and watch the reruns of the show. Why? Simple, because I find those ladies truly fascinating, especially NeNe but I will save that for another writing. Week after week, we see our sisters on the show act and react based on their own perception of a conversation or event that has taken place. Sometimes it's cute...........sometimes it's UGLY, but we watch it anyway.

During my 25 year marriage, several times I have challenged my husband on his reaction to a particular event. It took a while, but I slowly came to see that I expected him to see the situation exactly the way I saw it and I didn't understand why he wasn't ranting and raving as I would have done in that same situation. I have learned from that experience and many others that it's not always necessary to 'be RIGHT' but it is always 'right to just BE'. Plainly, what you say, you say out of your own thoughts, heart, perception, view, etc., and what the other hears is based on the same collection of things inside themselves. You have a responsibility for what you say and how you process or internalize what you hear (BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORDS). But, there is nothing you can do about the processing and internalizing that goes on inside the other person (DON'T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY).

So, what do we do? Try to speak life, light, truth and blessings even when you have to "Check a Negro". But most of all, don't take what others do and say personally because after all, their perception of you and/or the situation is WWWWAAAYYYY out of whack anyway.

I'm sure Iyanala have received a mountain of criticism for appearing on Oprah and being so transparent, but sometimes that's the only way to truly resolve a situation. Speak truth and life to every situation that confronts you and I promise YOU will be all the better for it!!

I Speak Life!

Peace and Light!!

Afrolady

FINALLY!!

Have you ever had an idea that you wanted to try, a book to write, a business to start, etc......and you couldn't, or didn't get around to do it? Well, don't feel bad because that has been my story for the last 3+ years. I have thought and talked about starting my own business so much I got SICK of thinking about it.

When I was at home in December caring for my mother after her fall, I looked around her house at the mounds and mounds of materials, tools, patterns and craft books and reminisced on what a great seamstress she was. For the longest time, we didn't know what it meant to buy clothes in a store, she made everything we needed - including my wedding dress (complete with satin, pearls and an 11.5 foot train). We tried and tried to get her to go into business for herself years ago, but she just couldn't, or wouldn't do it. I don't know if it was due to her lack of business sense or what - maybe it was because our little city in Michigan wasn't necessarily known for cranking out entrepreneurs. Whatever it was, she seemed to be perfectly content to shower her talents upon her family and only her family, and boy did we benefit. She also made it her mission to teach me how to be self sufficient - how to sew, crochet, knit, do my own hair, etc.....because she believed that you shouldn't be a slave to anyone else's time or talent.

Now that she's older, arthritis and many other health issues has forced her to give up many of her hobbies. So, now she passes her time making quilts that are amazing in their beauty, detail and precision.

So, with some effort, support from hubby, faith and some of Mama's teachings, talents and mother-whit I have launched my own business http://www.afroladydesigns.com/ and I would love it if you would check it out - and share the link with your friends. Don't worry, I won't bombard you or your friends with endless BY STUFF FROM MY WEBSITE posts. However, you could really help me by the checking out the site, signing the guestbook and giving me some feedback at your own convenience.

PEACE LOVIES!!!!!!!

Afrolady

www.afroladydesigns.com

Just some random Year-at-a-close thoughts......

Everything must CHANGE!!

As I sit at my Mother's computer, I can't help but to think back on all of the things that have gone on this year. I have to admit, it has been a bit of a bumpy ride, but a bumpy ride is better than NO RIDE at all. LOL!! Sometimes you just have to laugh and KEEEP ON TRUCKIN'.

My Mother is getting stronger every day and was in much better spirits when I sat with her earlier. I am comfident that she will make a speedy recovery because she is still strong willed and very determined.

On the hair front, I have been so busy, running around in circles, I completely overlooked my own 2 year Lock-a-versary (insert fireworks and fanfare here) which was December 19th. Wow!! What a journey it has been. I have watched my hair morph into what it was truly meant to be. I have combined about 15 of my locks during this 2-year journey and I managed to start a new baby in my temple area on the right side. I have named her Joy and she's resting comfortably among her 420 older siblings. I turned 47 on the 2nd of this month and gave birth to 2 gray hairs. WOO HOO!! It's funny that people think I color my hair because I didn't have any gray hairs until recently.........but to the two rebels that have popped out of no where all I can say is HELLO and WELCOME TO THE FAMILY. LOL!!

I will post pics when I get back home.

On a personal note, it's almost time to bid 2010 a fond farewell as it crosses forever over into the land of memories. I don't believe in making resolutions, but I do believe in making CHANGES. While on my sojourn in Michigan, I started some fresh new crochet projects and used this down time to learn some new stitches, techniques, etc. My ETSY shop will be up and running by Monday and it will serve until I get my webpage operational. 2011 is the year of doing what I enjoy with meditation, thought and PURPOSE instead of only doing what is necessary to survive with very little reward or satisfaction. I don't wish my Mother's fall on anyone, but I thank God for the gift of the down time because it gave me an opportunity to think, observe and treasure. Treasure what you ask? Treasure all of the things my mother taught me. The skill set she nurtured, the strength she gave and her mind boggling wisdom that is sometimes challenged by meds and bad health. I let her life show me ME while she's still here instead of waiting until she was gone and looking at a distorted legacy through tear stained eyes and pain.

Life is a gift, a constantly moving journey through time and space and there is so much to be learned from it. Thank GOD for the lesson......................

Great New Year Everyone!!

Peace!!

Happy Holidays!!

Hey Lovies,

I trust that everyone is enjoying a wonderful holiday season. Mine was filled with much, much love and a little bit of bad news. My mother fell on the 26th at church and broke her leg. Needless to say, all of my holiday cheer completely STOPPED at the moment I received the call from my Dad and I immediately began the process of going to Michigan to see her and help take care of her. At the writing of this post, I am still in Michigan and plan to be here for the next 3 days or so.

Last night, as I french braided my mother's hair, I let myself feel the different textures of her relaxed, broken hair. Admired the swirls of charcoal, silver and white strands throughout and cursed under my breath and the broken patches from years of chemicals, heat and meds. Her thick head full of strong shiny black long hair has changed forever to streaks of silver, and white showing off her stuggles, frustrations and the wisdom she has gathered through the years. Each strand tells its own story of the struggle, OUR struggle, life's struggle, the black thang............

My mother's hair is the statement of a generation that said "we understand what we have to do to be accepted in society and we will do all that we can to make sure our daughters understand too". She taught me to take pride in my bushy hair, tame it, keep it clean and healthy, care for it properly, never be a slave to the beauty shops and most importantly, to look presentable at all times and never (in her own words) go out "lookin bad about the head". Even though her hair has suffered years of abuse and she did her best to educate me the way she had been miseducated I only love and admire her for her strength and efforts. I am her and she is me.......
NOW, I wear my braidlocks with even more pride mostly because society wouldn't let her venture out of the norm even for a minute. She IS my queen!!

Thanks Mama!!!!!

I want to hear from you!!

OK Lovies,

I am very seriously thinking about coloring my locs. Stop in and let me know what you think.

Good Idea?

Bad Idea?

(Keeping in mind that I am strictly a DIY'er) What to use, what NOT to use..........

Your own personal experiences.

Color suggestions.

Anything and everything you have to say on this subject is appreciated. Ya'll know me.....THE DIRECT AND MOST HONEST APPROACH IS WHAT I LIKE.

So, Let me have it!!

Peace Lovies!!!!!!!!!

Stand Your Ground!!

Hey Lovies!! Hope you are all blessed with plenty of love and light!!

Just wanted to tell you a little story to help you along the way - especially those of you who have little ones that are just beginning their educational process.

When our youngest was in the 3rd grade, he decided to act a fool on the bus one day on the way home from school.........Well, the BUSDRIVER, in her infinite wisdom, decided to inform me that he was ADHD. Of course my response was "so, they are giving out degrees in psychology with the bus drivers liscense these days?". Needless to say that conversation ended quickly.

Well what do you know, the following week, I get a note from his counselor stating that it was urgent that we have him tested for ADD and ADHD. You know we refused, right???

Anyhoo, after numerous meetings, phone calls and even a conversation with his speech therapist who said "I think he has a learning disorder and I would like him to take a test for it"....when I agreed to that she quickly added "Oh by the way, we may as well go ahead and test him for ADD and ADHD while we are at it". I did have a concern about his learning abilities, but she must have really thought I was a complete IDIOT. NICE TRY LADY!!!!

The next 3 years were pure HELL. Every time something came up with him, we were treated like ignorant parents who didn't give a damn about their child. It didn't stop until he was in the 6th grade - the elementary school speech therapist contacted his middle school counselor and insisted that they force us to have him tested. Thank God the middle school counselor had spent enough time with him to say without a doubt "I doubt very seriously that he is ADD or ADHD and I don't blame his parents for not having him tested".

My son is now 14 years old, a freshman in high school with a 3.33 GPA. He trotted in the house yesterday with 5 A's on his report card and he is not in ANY remedial classes.

ADD and ADHD are very serious and there are children who are in need of help because of it. However, African American males are being diagnosed with it at alarming rates simply because they may have a slightly different way of learning, may need some more creative stimuli, or easily gets bored which was the case with my son. I encourage you, if your child is having problems and you want to have him/her tested, please do so under the guidance of your own private physician and do not allow the school to just randomly test them. Once the schools start in on an issue like this, there is no stopping it. Also, don't just take anything that is being told to you about your child, educate yourself and stay involved in the process - as a parent you have both responsibilities and RIGHTS.


Peace Lovies!!!!!!