Thought Therapy

The weather is relatively cool today - mid 70's with a slight breeze. I've openned the windows of my house to let the fresh air blow through and rush out all the funny smells and vibes that tend to collect in my home during the winter months and the hot days when the AC is constantly running.

Last night my daughter gave me India.Arie's newest CD as a gift "Testimony: Vol 2" if you haven't purchased this masterpiece you definitely NEED to get it.

A cool summer's breeze is blowing through my bedroom windows, India is playing and I am compelled to share an experience I had today. One of my co-workers is having a particularly difficult time right now, they have 5 children, she's working part-time and her husband is out of work. They recently lost their home and are living with her brother who is letting her know by his words and actions that she and her family are imposing on him (forgetting that he once lived with her and her family while he got on his feet). She told me today that this downward spiral started about 5 years ago and it is her and her husband's own undoing. Long story short, they both have spent time in jail and they are both on probation at this time. She said, "I'm sure it was one of my secretaries who turned me in, I don't blame them, I was doing wrong, basically stealing from my company and needed to be caught. Going to jail for 27 months was the best thing that could have happened to me. During that time of being isolated from my family I came to understand that I caused my own imprisonment".

Many of us are in one sort of prison or another, maybe a relationship that has gone haywire, some kind of loss, a health issue that has you bound, a financial mess, etc. I am a firm believer in looking inward BEFORE you look to outside sources for the cause of your current circumstance and talking with my co-worker today confirmed this belief. Even with all of this going on, she feels that she's in a process that they must go through to learn a higher lesson, so she's being patient with the process and trusting both God and her own heart. We don't cause every situation that takes place in our lives, sometimes things just hit us out of nowhere (i.e. a cancer diagnosis, a illness upon one of our children, death of a parent, death of a friend, etc) so we should never beat ourselves up when somehting happens.

We all have times where we feel isolated, emotionally or physically (can't talk to anybody about what's going on, friends are nowhere to be found, etc). If that's your situation, right now, don't sit and wait for someone to come along and heal you or rescue you - that's the worse thing you can do. The best thing you can do for your mind and spirit is to start your own process of growth and/or healing by looking within, being honest about what you may or may not have done to bring about your situation. IF you find that some energy within you needs to be released (anger, guilt, sadness, shame, etc.) release it immediately. How do you release: channel that energy into something (i.e. writing yourself a letter and forgiving yourself, writing a letter to someone who you feel has harmed you in some way and forgiving them, yoga, aerobics, swimming, running, biking, dancing, singing - whatever activity you do that you truly enjoy). AVOID destructive habits like smoking, drinking and/or sex because channeling your negative energy into those activities leads to dependance on those things to make you "feel better". This is not about "feeling better - or forgetting your problems for a little while" this is about unlocking things within - bringing them out into your own plain eyesight and dealing with them so they don't continue to 'deal' with YOU.

Continue to Grow. Continue to GLOW.

Peace Lovies!!

The Beauty of a Man!

As I struggle to make peace with things happening around me - things that I have no control over, wouldn't want to have the power to control, but yet, these things are still the source that motivates me to write this post.

We all had to take our time to come to grips with the sudden death of Michael Jackson. Most of us remember the bright eyed innocent wonder with the wide brimmed purple hat aced/deuced to one side mesmerizing us with his vocals on the Ed Sullivan Show back in the 70's. Some of us hold fondly to the memories of him amazing us by moon-walking into his destiny in 1995. Whatever your memory of him is, hold to the positive and not the negatives that will surely surface - because as we know every fool on the planet has something to say about someone who's dead and can no longer defend himself.

On a personal note, the cherry on the pie of my month (June) started the day before father's day when I was awakened by my husband who said firmly "You need to get up and get dressed, Steve had a heart attack and is on his way to the hospital" (Steve is about 22 years older than me and is one of the best friends I ever had). So, I sprung out the bed, set a world record for the "Fastest Female to get Cleaned up and Dressed" and hurried across town to the hospital.
As the days went on, I sat with his wife of 40 years, and watched his son (36) and daughter (38) struggle with the closure that was sure to come. On Tuesday, I was blessed to be present when the neurologist delivered bad news to the family - news that Steve's daughter would not allow herself to accept (can't say that I blame her). Wednesday, I was their when they started dialysis because his kidneys were shutting down. Thursday, my husband and I watched him have electronic seizures and the brain monitors showed how his brain activity was rapidly decreasing. So, I said my goodbyes, thanked him for his unfailing friendship and began to ask myself and my husband, "What am I going to do without Steve?". This question sums up the ultimate struggle that I am still having today. On the way home from the hospital, it was announced that Michael Jackson died......WHAT??

Saturday, Steve's wife, children, and our pastor (who was a long-time friend of Steve's) met with his team of doctors so they could confirm everything that we already knew, He was gone and the only thing keeping him alive was the respirator. The following Monday, I took my kids to see "Transformers" - which was a welcomed break from it all............I had the strangest revelation during that movie and it was confirmed about 45 minutes later that my beloved friend, confidant, the consumate joker, the kindest man I had ever known was GONE.

Perhaps the most ironic thing is, both Steve and Michael died of the same thing. They both had massive heart attacks (brought on by totally different things, of course). The big difference was, Steve was at home with his wife when it happened and Michael was 'presumed' to be alone at the time his hit. Nevertheless, another good person is gone and I am left with 1,000 funny stories about him and memories that I will keep with me forever.

Even more fascinating, at the time that most people were huddled around their TV sets or computers watching the memorial service of Michael Jackson (an Indiana native son) we were laying to rest our dearest friend (another Indiana native son).

Steve's son gave a beautiful tribute today at his funeral, he said "I have nothing to be sad about, my father lived a wonderful life, did everything he wanted to do. We had a good relationship, talked often I will miss him, but I am at peace with it because I am proud of the life he led and the legacy he leaves behind."

That's the beauty of a beautiful man. Goodbye dear friend, I will miss you terribly and remember you fondly, until we meet again!!!!!!!!

Peace Lovies!!

Six Months

Well, it's been 6 months for this lovely journey and it's been fun. However, if I had known that my hair would be a conversation starter, I would have thought of something else to do. LOL!! I got followed into a McDonalds by a women who wanted to know WHO did my hair. A lady started up a conversation with me at the doctor's office......the list goes on and on. A little attention ain't bad. (smile)

Anyhoo, I have started to do some styles and thought I post a few random pics:

I was actually running late to choir rehearsal when I created this one.

This was pulled back into a clip with a little swag on the side. This is the day that the lady followed me into McDonalds.

This was my Sunday-go-to-meetin' do. I was quite suprised that I could pull all of my locs into one clip in the back.

This is one of my hair ties that I have made - with the matching earrings. I have made several of them.

As you can see, I have been having a lot of fun with my hair, it's been really hot here in the midwest for the last 2 weeks. The hot weather has actually inspired me to try different things. Next, it's on to some headwraps, of course I will post some pics.

Peace Lovies!!

Never Can Say Goodbye

I've said it many times. I grew up in a small town in Michigan the 70's - a time when you could hang around outside after dark, leave your door unlocked and everybody went to church. In addition to that, the 70's was a time when you only saw black entertainers on The Ed Sullivan Show and/or the Merv Griffin show.

There was no internet, youtube, BET videos, colored TV or cable. So, an announcement that the Jackson 5, The Temptations, Gladys Night and the Pips, James Brown, etc., was coming on one of those shows was enough to shut down any game of street football, tag, baseball, stickball, a hopscotch tournament, or any other neighborhood olympics. Our mothers and fathers would proclaim from the front porches or stoops "The Jackson 5 is coming on theEd Sullivan Show" and the streets would empty quicker than any thunderstorm that frequently sent us running for shelter on those midwestern hot summer days.

As I grew older I accumulated pictures, albums, CD's cassettes, children and a husband. Hubby and I have worked hard to keep the legacies of people like Michael Jackson, EWF, Marvin Gaye, The Temptations, The Supremes, and many more alive so our children can grow from them and understand where today's music truly comes from. When we heard the news about Michael Jackson, we were numb, and our children were devastated. All my husband and I could remember was that beautiful, bright eyed little boy with a huge afro and a wide brimmed hat aced-duced over to one side mezmerizing us with his voice on the Ed Sullivan show.

I cannot and will not comment on the trials of his life, all I can say is I hope that his next life will give him more peace than he got in this one. He gave unselfishly of himself to leave us with a tremendous legacy of music, let's let go of the unproven allegations and remember all of the good that he did. Rest In Peace Michael Jackson - we will see you again on the other side.

Peace Lovies!!

Water, Water, Water

It's summer time and I absolutely LOVE hot weather!!! I wanted to take a few moments to talk Spritz. I have heard that you should spritz your hair in the early stages of locking because it will slow down the loc process and/or make your hair come loose. Well, I have found that spritzing is the best thing I can do for my hair. I don't have any issues with itchy scalp or dandruff. I know that everyone's hair is different, so I can only talk about what works for ME. My hair LOVES the water and reacts very well to the daily spritz routine.

My spritz contains distilled water, aloe vera gel, almond oil, jojoba oil and a precious few drops of rosemary oil. I can't stress enough that you have to be careful with the rosemary oil - rosemary increases blood flow. If you are prone to high blood pressure, PLEASE do not use the rosemary at all. On the day that I had my biopsy, my blood pressure was a little high - I forgot about the rosemary oil in my spritz and spritzed my hair, as usual, before I went in for my procedure. Also, because I have rosemary in my spritz, I do not use it before I exercize or go to dance practice.

I have also found that it is absolutely necessary that you take in the appropriate amount of water each day. I hear people say "I don't like water" - well all I can say to that is, it doesn't matter if you like water or not, your body NEEDS it. I drink 64 ounces of water each day without fail, it is good for your body, your skin and your hair. Those of you who may be having problems with itchy scalp or dry hair, before you go spend money on another product, check your water intake, if you are drinking less than 8, 8oz glasses of water, then you are not giving your body what it needs. Most of us don't realize that some of the problems we are having with our hair can easily be corrected with the right combinations of water, vitamins, herbs and eating the right things. Before I went natural, my hair was a HOT MESS. I was stressed, vitamin defficent and not eating properly. Once I corrected those things, I saw an immediate turn around with my skin, nails and hair. Being lock'd has it's own set of responsibilities just like any other lifestyle. While we are at different stages of our journeys, let us not forget to take care of ourselves and love ourselves from the inside out. Growth does not start at the skin, it starts beneath the skin and that's where we have to start feeding our hair, beneath the skin with the proper amount of water and nutrients.

Peace Lovies!!

Five Months

I'm late posting these pics because my home internet service was off for a while. Anyhoo, I am about 1 week shy of my 6 month anniversary but my hubby took this picture and I really liked it and thought I would post it.

This one is called "Mop-heads". We were getting ready to go to an Open House after getting our daughter off to her senior prom and hubby said, "I need to see all the Mopheads in the living room for a picture". I'm proud to be a mop-head!!

ISN'T SHE LOVELY!!

There she goes, to her Senior Prom. I remember when that girl would crawl into bed with me at night........now, she's off to college in a couple months. Man how time flies when you're having FUN.

Sitting at the Feet of the Elders

I grew up in a small town in Michigan the 70's - a time when you could leave your door unlocked while walking to the neighborhood store, play outside until the streetlights came on, be out all over the neighborhood all day in the summer and only come home to drink a little 'red' kool-aid on a break and then you were right back out the door again. The other thing about that time was - you had BETTER respect your elders. You didn't even think of raising up an eyebrow at any of them unless you wanted to get your BUTT BEAT by them and then by your parents when you got home. The 70's was a time where everyone in the neighborhood could whoop your a** at a momen't notice. Gone are the days baby. Gone are the days.

I am currently working as a research interviewer for Indiana University School of Phsychiatry. Every day I go out and meet African American Senior Citizens in my city and ask them a series of questions to help with the research for Alzheimers and Dementia for which there is no cure at this point.

I have met some of the most WONDERFUL, wise and energetic Elders that I have ever seen in my entire life. They are positive, sweet, courageous and a joy to be around - keep in mind that they range in age from 65 to 99 and some of them are quite ill. Even some of the most cranky old men have a wealth of wisdom that they are glad to share to anyone who will listen.

One gentleman that I interviewed yesterday has cancer in his throat and it has slowly started to spread. He's 87 years old. When I arrived at his house, it was raining badly and he wife let me in and offered me coffee. I looked out the window and saw my 87 year old client climbing up a ladder OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN to clean out his gutters.

During the interview, he became emotional..........not sad, understand, this gentleman started shouting hallelujah because he's happy to have lived this long and knows that he still has a lot of living to do. Now, think about this for a minute, he's 87 - has cancer - his wife had a heart attack and a mild stroke while she was in he hospital recovering fromt he heart attack recently - but all he can think about is how good his creator has been to him and how wonderful his life is. The other thing I noticed about him is that he doesn't look sick. I quickly learned that the reason he doesn't look sick is because he refuses to 'act' like he's sick. He said he's going to keep moving and keep doing things until he just can't do them any more. He feels that he's left here for a reason - and he's going to keep going until his creator says "Stop".

This new journey has awakened a deep sense in me to re-address how I live. My body is a temple and it must be respected. My mind is also precious and it needs to be fed more than my body. My spirit is what centers me, massages my thoughts and helps to keep me grounded and SANE. I have given great thought to what I feed my mind, body and spirit and decided that some changes need to be made - so that I can be the elder that a young sistah or brothah can one day gain some life lessons from.

Let that lift you up!!

Peace Lovies!!