The Upper Room

2011-11-20T13:39:00.000-08:00

I remember a time when I hated my complexion................cursed my beautiful brown skin and absolutely HATED my hair. I am thankful for internal healing and the ability to fully embrace and accept myself and love myself unconditionally!!

"All Hail The Queen"!! At least that's what my husband calls this pic. He is in the process of launching his photography business and snapped this picture of me. Interesting because when we firist met, I didn't like taking pictures.

I am almost 3 years into my braidlock journey and it has been the best thing I have ever done for my hair. My locs and I get along GREAT and are having a wonderful time growing and changing together.

Are they all 100% locked? Of course NOT. It's crazy.......I have some ends that still have that curly braid thing going on, then I can look those same ends a month later and they will be all matted up. WOW!! It's like watching popcorn pop.

I am doing well on my new job, and I am a truly blessed woman because I didn't have to hide, camouflauge my locs or make a decision to cut them in order to get the job. My heart aches for those who have to make such a decision - but I will never judge because you really have to do what you have to do to survive these days.

Thanks for checking in Lovies!! Enjoy your time with your families this week and remember to spread plenty of love and good energy to all those you come in contact with.

HOTEP!!!!

2011-10-19T11:17:00.000-07:00

OMG!!! Somehow I got locked out of my own blog. What's up with that? It took me about 3 weeks to figure out what inthe world was going on. WHEW!!

Well, I hope all of my lovies are doing well. I am fantastic. Have been on my new job about 5 weeks and even though my head is constantly swimming from being on information OVERLOAD, they haven't fired me yet!! LOL!!

Let me know how YOU are doing. I want to hear from each and every one of you! SERIOUSLY!!

I am touching up my color tonight and will post some brand new pics in a few days.

Peace and Light!!

Afrolady!!

Peace and Light!!

2011-09-02T12:52:00.001-07:00

HELLO LOVIES!!!!!!

Whew!! There has been a lot going on in MY world, how bout yours??

I am currently getting ready to start a new job in a few days. YAY ME!!! So, out the door with all that, "You probably won't be able to keep those locs when you start seriously looking for a job" B. S. I am proud to say, I was able to find a job that I am excited about, it involves DANCE which is near and dear to my heart. I am back in full-time employment, in an office setting - yep, BRAIDLOCKS AND ALL!! WOW!! What a ride this has been.

Really, I was beginning to think my resume had COOTIES or something. I was applying for everything and wasn't even getting a nibble. For the last year, the only hits my resume was getting was opportunities to sell Life Insurance, which I really didn't want to do......really!!

I do have an insurance background and have mad respect for those in that field, but I just didn't feel as if it was for me. So, I kept searching, searching......................and did I mention SEARCHING!!....and out of no where, this job popped up on Career Builder and I applied with a quickness.

So, long story short, I am very excited about the new job, about returning to an office setting in a full time permanent position with a good salary and benefits! But, I am also very excited that I didn't have to make any drastic decisions about my hair in order to get the job.

Recently, I went with some friends to see "The Help" (A MUST SEE MOVIE). While watching the movie, I couldn't help but to think of the strength of our women (mama, auntie, god mothers, sisters,etc.,) you name it, our ancesteral women have had to do it in order to care for their families. I thought carefully about my own mother, who elected to take a job cleaning in a nursing home because the schedule would allow her to be there for us when we got home from school. Understand, my mother graduated high school in 1991, she was 57 years old at the time. She studied hard and got her high school diploma amidst the arguments from and lack of support from my Dad. She stood strong and proud with all of us cheering and cheering with her purple cap and gown on accepting her diploma like it was a million dollars. She was determined and she achieved a major goal for herself!! Watching "The Help" made me think of her and all the other women who did what they had to do in order to SURVIVE!!

I've read the blogs where some people think "The Help" is just another hollywood steryotype story depicting us as uneducated black women who bow down to whites and go home to good for nothing men, if they even have a man. If you have seen the movie and that's all you got from it, go see it again because you've totally missed the point.

My husband warned me that I might have to take my locks down in order to get a job back in an office setting. I wasn't angry with him because I knew of several women who had to do the same thing and I have much respect for their right to decide for themselves what to do. So, whenever I went out for an interview, I made sure my hair was in a neat style (my profile pic is an example of one of my "interview" do's).

Would I have cut my babies in order to get a job? I'd like to think that I definitely NOT, but when you have walked the road of constant financial struggles like we have done in the last 2 years, you never know. I may have made the decision to let them go for a while until I got in the door and then started them up again. Or, maybe I would have worn a wig to work for a while........who knows.

Cue India.Arie singing "I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am not your expectations NO, NO, I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am the soul that lives within"!!

I do know I am grateful that I didn't have to walk that path and find out.

Peace Lovies!!

Stay strong my sistahs strength is in your bloodline!!

Flow and Change!!

2011-06-11T13:54:00.001-07:00

WOW!!!!!! I opened up my blog and didn't believe that the last time I posted was in MARCH!!!! OMG!!!! I really cannot believe I have been so self obsorbed that I didn't take time to write. What a mistake that has been. I made the critical error of letting my day-to-day life get side-track me so badly that I haven't been doing all of the things I truly love to do.

So what has been going on you ask? Mainly, financial haywires which forced us to have to move again (which actually has turned out to be a good thing). It's amazing how things can really take over your life if you are not paying attention. We have learned a HUGE lesson on not getting so overwhelmed that you literally shut down until things start to overtake you then you start running around reacting and letting the situations control you!! That's when you REALLY start to make bad decisions.

There are things in live that you can control and things that you have absolutely no control over. The trick is to know the difference and always do your best......and the Creator will do the rest. I've learned that you are definitely NOT out there alone....you always have that inner voice there to guide you and keep your steps steady. Learn to listen, hear, listen, lear and listen some more.

One good thing all this life-business has forced me to return to is my love for reading. I wanted to return to my joy for spiritual things, being vegan, living a wholistic lifestyle, etc. I had seriously gotten to a place where those things were actually calling out to me - like your children do when you get separated from them in the mall. Want to hear something REALLY funny, 12 years ago, we lived in a beautiful townhouse. It was there that I received the strongest spiritual guidance in my life in which I was directed to become vegetarian. I was also given direction in several areas of my life, which I gladly embraced. Well, time goes marching along, we move from that location, challenges occur and over the next 6 years I begin to really lose track of a lot of the direction I was given. We have come full circle and moved back into the same complex we lived in at that time. Not the same townhouse (because that would be REALLY WEIRD) but the same complex.....and it came during a time that I began working on my spirituality, seeking guidance and new direction.

So these are the two books I have read over the last month. They have both challenged me to look deep within myself for answers, guidance, direction, etc., in different ways. My life is rich with many things, lots of love, family, friends, spirit, uniqueness, laughter, color, challenges, problems, joys, sorrows and happiness.

Well, that's MY truth anyway.

Peace Lovies!!!!

They do grow up don't they..................

2011-03-11T16:18:00.000-08:00

Well, It's Friday - I had a LOOOONNNNGGGG day - I was with my oldest son as he purchased his FIRST CAR!!!! WOW!! I can remember when I carried him, nursed him and all that....and here he was signing his own contract for a CAR. WHEW how time flies when you are having FUN.

Check our his lovely locs which are lovingly maintained by YOURS TRULY!! LOL!!

OK....time for an update

2011-03-11T14:50:00.000-08:00

It has bee 27 months since I took the plunge into the wonderful world of BRAIDLOCKS!!

.......and what a ride it has been. I can remember it taking 1 week to retighten my 435 locks. Over these 27 months, I have combined about 15 of them - and birthed a new baby in my temple area. I have always been a little thin in my temples (I inherited that one from my mother) but since I started locks and stick to my vitamin regimine, my temple started to look like a little afro, so I decided to start a baby lock and I'm glad to report she is doing very well:

My practice of caring for my locks remains the same.......LESS IS MORE!! Because I am dancing and exercising more, I found that I MUST wash my hair more frequently or else my scalp will get NASTY!! (had that happen once - it wasn't pretty). I also know that WATER IS MY FRIEND - both inside my body and directly on my hair.

So, here is my update pics. On the left is the day after I finished installing my braidlocks (December 19, 2008) and on the right is the pic I took TODAY (March 11, 2011).

Not too bad if I do say so myself!!

I still get asked if they are Sisterlocks and I very quickly say "NO". I think Sisterlocks are wonderfully beautiful and I do appreciate my homade DO being compared to the work of trained professionals - but I also take pride in the amount of time, patience, attention and TLC I give my own hair. So, thank you for taking the time to read my little "PAT-ON-THE-BACK" post.

Peace and Light!!

Afrolady

Speak Life!!

2011-02-24T05:48:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don't know, Iyanala Vanzant recently appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show after an 11 year hiatus.

The first of two shows aired during my train trip back from helping care for my mother after her fall in December. Now, even though I don't watch Oprah that much, I was heartbroken at the thought of missing this episode because I am a HUGE fan of the high priestess. I have followed, learned and grown from her work over the years and was very excited to hear she would be on TV again. Other than my Mama, if I had to pick 2 women who inspire me and I most wanted to be like, I would have to say without a doubt Susan Taylor and Iyanala Vanzant.

Because I missed the airing of the show, I was forced to watch a series of bad quality videos posted up on YouTube. Even though the quality of the clips were questionable at best, it was still enough to hold captive my attention for it's duration, which is not easy to do.

It would seem to me that what happened between these two dynamic Divas was a direct result of a series of misunderstandings with a little bit of 'crazy' thrown in, just for fun.

The conversation between Oprah and Vanzant began with a heartfelt apology from Iyanala after a very intense embrace by two sistahs who have deeply missed each other. Two things Iyanala said stuck out in my mind: "Some crazy a pill can't fix"......"I need you to hear me on this Oprah, really hear me". Those two statements bring me to the point of this writing.

How many of us have had conversations with people (child, sibling, friend, mate, boss, etc.) only later to discover that what you "said" and what they "heard" were two completely different things? Too many relationships, marriages, etc., have been ripped apart over the difference between what 'I' said and what 'they thought' they heard.

I just finished reading a book entitled "The Fifth greement" in which the author speaks in great detail about being impeccable with your words and not taking things personally. How many people do you know have quit jobs because of their perception of the treatment the received from their boss or coworkers?

Now, my friends know that I watch "Real Housewives of Atlanta" weekly and will sit down and watch the reruns of the show. Why? Simple, because I find those ladies truly fascinating, especially NeNe but I will save that for another writing. Week after week, we see our sisters on the show act and react based on their own perception of a conversation or event that has taken place. Sometimes it's cute...........sometimes it's UGLY, but we watch it anyway.

During my 25 year marriage, several times I have challenged my husband on his reaction to a particular event. It took a while, but I slowly came to see that I expected him to see the situation exactly the way I saw it and I didn't understand why he wasn't ranting and raving as I would have done in that same situation. I have learned from that experience and many others that it's not always necessary to 'be RIGHT' but it is always 'right to just BE'. Plainly, what you say, you say out of your own thoughts, heart, perception, view, etc., and what the other hears is based on the same collection of things inside themselves. You have a responsibility for what you say and how you process or internalize what you hear (BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORDS). But, there is nothing you can do about the processing and internalizing that goes on inside the other person (DON'T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY).

So, what do we do? Try to speak life, light, truth and blessings even when you have to "Check a Negro". But most of all, don't take what others do and say personally because after all, their perception of you and/or the situation is WWWWAAAYYYY out of whack anyway.

I'm sure Iyanala have received a mountain of criticism for appearing on Oprah and being so transparent, but sometimes that's the only way to truly resolve a situation. Speak truth and life to every situation that confronts you and I promise YOU will be all the better for it!!

I Speak Life!

Peace and Light!!

Afrolady

FINALLY!!

2011-01-23T16:44:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had an idea that you wanted to try, a book to write, a business to start, etc......and you couldn't, or didn't get around to do it? Well, don't feel bad because that has been my story for the last 3+ years. I have thought and talked about starting my own business so much I got SICK of thinking about it.

When I was at home in December caring for my mother after her fall, I looked around her house at the mounds and mounds of materials, tools, patterns and craft books and reminisced on what a great seamstress she was. For the longest time, we didn't know what it meant to buy clothes in a store, she made everything we needed - including my wedding dress (complete with satin, pearls and an 11.5 foot train). We tried and tried to get her to go into business for herself years ago, but she just couldn't, or wouldn't do it. I don't know if it was due to her lack of business sense or what - maybe it was because our little city in Michigan wasn't necessarily known for cranking out entrepreneurs. Whatever it was, she seemed to be perfectly content to shower her talents upon her family and only her family, and boy did we benefit. She also made it her mission to teach me how to be self sufficient - how to sew, crochet, knit, do my own hair, etc.....because she believed that you shouldn't be a slave to anyone else's time or talent.

Now that she's older, arthritis and many other health issues has forced her to give up many of her hobbies. So, now she passes her time making quilts that are amazing in their beauty, detail and precision.

So, with some effort, support from hubby, faith and some of Mama's teachings, talents and mother-whit I have launched my own business http://www.afroladydesigns.com/ and I would love it if you would check it out - and share the link with your friends. Don't worry, I won't bombard you or your friends with endless BY STUFF FROM MY WEBSITE posts. However, you could really help me by the checking out the site, signing the guestbook and giving me some feedback at your own convenience.

PEACE LOVIES!!!!!!!

Afrolady

www.afroladydesigns.com

Just some random Year-at-a-close thoughts......

2010-12-31T15:19:00.000-08:00

Everything must CHANGE!!

As I sit at my Mother's computer, I can't help but to think back on all of the things that have gone on this year. I have to admit, it has been a bit of a bumpy ride, but a bumpy ride is better than NO RIDE at all. LOL!! Sometimes you just have to laugh and KEEEP ON TRUCKIN'.

My Mother is getting stronger every day and was in much better spirits when I sat with her earlier. I am comfident that she will make a speedy recovery because she is still strong willed and very determined.

On the hair front, I have been so busy, running around in circles, I completely overlooked my own 2 year Lock-a-versary (insert fireworks and fanfare here) which was December 19th. Wow!! What a journey it has been. I have watched my hair morph into what it was truly meant to be. I have combined about 15 of my locks during this 2-year journey and I managed to start a new baby in my temple area on the right side. I have named her Joy and she's resting comfortably among her 420 older siblings. I turned 47 on the 2nd of this month and gave birth to 2 gray hairs. WOO HOO!! It's funny that people think I color my hair because I didn't have any gray hairs until recently.........but to the two rebels that have popped out of no where all I can say is HELLO and WELCOME TO THE FAMILY. LOL!!

I will post pics when I get back home.

On a personal note, it's almost time to bid 2010 a fond farewell as it crosses forever over into the land of memories. I don't believe in making resolutions, but I do believe in making CHANGES. While on my sojourn in Michigan, I started some fresh new crochet projects and used this down time to learn some new stitches, techniques, etc. My ETSY shop will be up and running by Monday and it will serve until I get my webpage operational. 2011 is the year of doing what I enjoy with meditation, thought and PURPOSE instead of only doing what is necessary to survive with very little reward or satisfaction. I don't wish my Mother's fall on anyone, but I thank God for the gift of the down time because it gave me an opportunity to think, observe and treasure. Treasure what you ask? Treasure all of the things my mother taught me. The skill set she nurtured, the strength she gave and her mind boggling wisdom that is sometimes challenged by meds and bad health. I let her life show me ME while she's still here instead of waiting until she was gone and looking at a distorted legacy through tear stained eyes and pain.

Life is a gift, a constantly moving journey through time and space and there is so much to be learned from it. Thank GOD for the lesson......................

Great New Year Everyone!!

Peace!!

Happy Holidays!!

2010-12-29T10:57:00.000-08:00

Hey Lovies,

I trust that everyone is enjoying a wonderful holiday season. Mine was filled with much, much love and a little bit of bad news. My mother fell on the 26th at church and broke her leg. Needless to say, all of my holiday cheer completely STOPPED at the moment I received the call from my Dad and I immediately began the process of going to Michigan to see her and help take care of her. At the writing of this post, I am still in Michigan and plan to be here for the next 3 days or so.

Last night, as I french braided my mother's hair, I let myself feel the different textures of her relaxed, broken hair. Admired the swirls of charcoal, silver and white strands throughout and cursed under my breath and the broken patches from years of chemicals, heat and meds. Her thick head full of strong shiny black long hair has changed forever to streaks of silver, and white showing off her stuggles, frustrations and the wisdom she has gathered through the years. Each strand tells its own story of the struggle, OUR struggle, life's struggle, the black thang............

My mother's hair is the statement of a generation that said "we understand what we have to do to be accepted in society and we will do all that we can to make sure our daughters understand too". She taught me to take pride in my bushy hair, tame it, keep it clean and healthy, care for it properly, never be a slave to the beauty shops and most importantly, to look presentable at all times and never (in her own words) go out "lookin bad about the head". Even though her hair has suffered years of abuse and she did her best to educate me the way she had been miseducated I only love and admire her for her strength and efforts. I am her and she is me.......
NOW, I wear my braidlocks with even more pride mostly because society wouldn't let her venture out of the norm even for a minute. She IS my queen!!

Thanks Mama!!!!!

I want to hear from you!!

2010-11-04T13:15:00.001-07:00

OK Lovies,

I am very seriously thinking about coloring my locs. Stop in and let me know what you think.

Good Idea?

Bad Idea?

(Keeping in mind that I am strictly a DIY'er) What to use, what NOT to use..........

Your own personal experiences.

Color suggestions.

Anything and everything you have to say on this subject is appreciated. Ya'll know me.....THE DIRECT AND MOST HONEST APPROACH IS WHAT I LIKE.

So, Let me have it!!

Peace Lovies!!!!!!!!!

Stand Your Ground!!

2010-10-27T12:11:00.001-07:00

Hey Lovies!! Hope you are all blessed with plenty of love and light!!

Just wanted to tell you a little story to help you along the way - especially those of you who have little ones that are just beginning their educational process.

When our youngest was in the 3rd grade, he decided to act a fool on the bus one day on the way home from school.........Well, the BUSDRIVER, in her infinite wisdom, decided to inform me that he was ADHD. Of course my response was "so, they are giving out degrees in psychology with the bus drivers liscense these days?". Needless to say that conversation ended quickly.

Well what do you know, the following week, I get a note from his counselor stating that it was urgent that we have him tested for ADD and ADHD. You know we refused, right???

Anyhoo, after numerous meetings, phone calls and even a conversation with his speech therapist who said "I think he has a learning disorder and I would like him to take a test for it"....when I agreed to that she quickly added "Oh by the way, we may as well go ahead and test him for ADD and ADHD while we are at it". I did have a concern about his learning abilities, but she must have really thought I was a complete IDIOT. NICE TRY LADY!!!!

The next 3 years were pure HELL. Every time something came up with him, we were treated like ignorant parents who didn't give a damn about their child. It didn't stop until he was in the 6th grade - the elementary school speech therapist contacted his middle school counselor and insisted that they force us to have him tested. Thank God the middle school counselor had spent enough time with him to say without a doubt "I doubt very seriously that he is ADD or ADHD and I don't blame his parents for not having him tested".

My son is now 14 years old, a freshman in high school with a 3.33 GPA. He trotted in the house yesterday with 5 A's on his report card and he is not in ANY remedial classes.

ADD and ADHD are very serious and there are children who are in need of help because of it. However, African American males are being diagnosed with it at alarming rates simply because they may have a slightly different way of learning, may need some more creative stimuli, or easily gets bored which was the case with my son. I encourage you, if your child is having problems and you want to have him/her tested, please do so under the guidance of your own private physician and do not allow the school to just randomly test them. Once the schools start in on an issue like this, there is no stopping it. Also, don't just take anything that is being told to you about your child, educate yourself and stay involved in the process - as a parent you have both responsibilities and RIGHTS.

Peace Lovies!!!!!!

Had to Say Somethin'

2010-09-23T13:00:00.000-07:00

Ya'll have known me long enough to know that I had to say something on the recent events surrounding Bishop Eddie Long. While I am not exactly a fan of him or his ministry, my heart bleeds for his family and his followers.

I will not comment on the exact allegations that have been made because THANK GOD I wasn't there to witness any of them. Also, I have lived long enough to know that there are 3 sides to every story: Yours, Mine and THE TRUTH. However, my heart goes out to his family and followers because we live in a society that is very quick to judge and typically accepts whatever story they hear first. I am not speaking personally about anyone or chastising anyone, I'm just talking about the community at large.

These are not the type of allegations you have to have circulating around about you mainly because they have a way of never really going away. Court dates can come and go, but these words will hang over this man and his ministry for a long time, be they true or not....... if you don't believe me, just ask Michael Jackson!!

While I am not necessarily a fan of yours, Bishop Long, I send positive energy and prayers out for you, your family and your flock and yes, your accusers. If these accusations are true, those young men will definitely need some help and counseling, if they are false, then the young men will need the kind of mercy that only God himself can provide.

Peace Lovies!!

Random Update

2010-09-23T12:45:00.000-07:00

Well lovies, here are a few random pics of Me Babies. They are 21 months old and are doing well. Even when one of our new puppies gets his little claw stuck in one of them. LOL!! I just finished my latest reti and decided to take some snaps. Not doing to bad in the growth department.

Here are the puppies. Zeus (a 6 year old Shitzu/Bichon) got busy with Atheena (our 1 year old Mini Pinchure/Pug Mix). We thought we had kept them apart but obviously we BLINKED!! Anyhoo, we have found homes for all 4 of them already and will bid them a tearful goodbye in about 2 weeks. From top to bottom, we have Aurora and Artie, Thor is pictured in the middle and last but certainly not least, none other than Apollo (he's a real MESS!). They look cute, but they are some real BOOGERS!!!!!!

New DO

2010-09-23T12:35:00.000-07:00

OK, So I actually pulled this DO into place before church. The best thing about locs are, you can really never go wrong....I have never experienced a bad hair day and they always know what they want to do. I couldn't resist having hubby take a picture of it for my blog.

So this is my latest Sunday-go-to-meetin' DO. Tell me what ya think!!

Peace Lovies!!

Reset!!

2010-08-14T17:16:00.000-07:00

Well Lovies, I don't know about you but I am TIRED!! It's hot outside, hubby and the kids are downtown at a drum corps competition and I am sitting in the floor of our new home with both doggies sleeping next to me. Are we rich? Yep, rich with the blessings of the Creator!! He has blessed us to move from somewhere we never should have been to what we prayed for, a home that's clean, well cared for, safe and affordable! Don't get me wrong, we made a few bad decisions along the way, which landed us in a place that looked Ok on the outside, but was totally unlivable. But, all in all, we were able to make a home out of it for 3 months until HE saw fit to bring us to a much better place. So, what have we learned from this, don't let mistakes, bad decisions, stress, fear and frustration paralize you. You deserve the best that God has to offer you. Stay focused and don't fall for that lie of "I messed up so I don't deserve any better". That's a Jhedi mind trick!!

The Creator is scattering blessings all around, dont forget to stop and gather a few of your own.

Peace Lovies!!

Whew.....It's Been a LONG Time!

2010-07-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

OMG!! I have been away from this blog for a LONG, LONG time. I have been so busy running around in a GIANT circle for the last 3 months - that I haven't paid any attention to my own blog. I am very sorry Lovies!

What have I been doing lately:

1. Chasing after my kids - I swear, they have schedules that are more hectic than mine! Worrying about my middle son who is traveling around the country with his drum corps.

2. Maintaining my godson's locs, my locs, my youngest son's locs and the locs of my oldest son who has taken a vacation from doing his OWN hair (SLACKER - LOL!!)

3. Doing my "Insanity Beachbody" workouts and enjoying dropping a dress size AND wearing clothes that I haven't been able to wear in 2 years. WOO HOO!!

4. Preparing to move again to a bigger and better place by the grace of GOD!!!

5. Singin' and dancin at my church like I am a crazy person, while enjoying grabbing my locks and clipping them up in the back on these hot, hot, hot summer days

I hope all my lovies are doing fine and you haven't been stressed beyond reason like I have. But, all is well.....God is taking care of everything and everyone around me.

The hair is holding up great. Still locking and doing it's thang - and I am letting the process do what it do. I am not fully locked yet but I know that braidlocks take a little longer to lock, so I am just being patient and enjoying the process. Being able to try new hairdo's is my personal favorite. After my workouts, I rinse the sweat out of my locs and let them airdry. I still retighten every 5 weeks and those sessions are going smoothly.

If you've got some thangs going on right now that are really messing with you, just stay focused on your source - honor your creator and receive the blessings as they flow to you.

Peace Lovies!!

Compliments

2010-06-03T09:27:00.000-07:00

So, I am driving down the street on my way to dance practice.
My India.Arie playing loudly in the CD player, windows down because it's hot and muggy outside. I just finished Day 3 of my "Insanity" workout and the large cup of ice I was chowing down on was tasting mighty good!!
All of a sudden, my peaceful solitude was interrupted by a voice saying "I really like your hair baby". Now, keep in mind, I was looking a HOT MESS at the time and I was completely caught off guard with a mouth full
of ice. But I managed to just smile and yell "Thank You" out the window and procede through the light.
I don't make it a habit of living my. Life by the compliments of others because people will say ANYTHING, but I have to admit that getting a nice compliment from a handsome young man ain't bad!!

Peace Lovies!!

What's Up??

2010-05-25T10:53:00.000-07:00

I am 17 months into my journey. WHEW!! How time flies when you are admiring your lovely hair. HA HA HA!!

It's very hot outside so, now that my hair is longer I am having fun throwing my hair up in a clip in the front, wearing it in a puff, hanging my head out the window of my car and letting the wind blow through it (Now I see how dogs feel - LOL!!).

Needless to say, those hot sweaty summer days do not worry me anymore. I have a DO for anything Mother Earth wants to throw at me.

Hit me back and let me know how goes YOUR journey!!

Cold Rasberry Ice Tea awaits!!

Peace Lovies!!!!!!

A Hot Mess!! The Aftermath

2010-04-20T20:13:00.001-07:00

Well Lovies,

We put several unneeded items in storage, threw a lot of things away, cleaned, cleaned and cleaned some more. Lifted those bails and toted those barges (including a very OLD piano) and the move was DONE.

Now I live in the midst of the aftermath, that can only be described as a HOT MESS! Boxes EVERYWHERE - but hubby did manage to put together the new computer desk which helped me create my little corner 'sanctuary' to write. Whew!! My goal for today was to start and make heads or tails out of my living room. Mission accomplished and confirmed when hubby came in from work today and said "This is nice". It's the little things that make all the difference in life.

How's the hair holding up?? Needs to be washed (tomorrow's project) and needs to be retightened, definitely won't get to that until I have brought more order to the chaos that is my house.

I bought some new Ginger Green Tea to try and then it's back to WORK.

Peace Lovies!!

Moving Forward!!

2010-04-12T19:32:00.000-07:00

Well Lovies, I have had quite a bit going on lately so let me start from the beginning. As March roared in like a lion we anticipated warmer days, melting snow, wind, rain and everything else the change of seasons have to offer. During that time, hubby and I came to the realization that we were going to have to move. Now, let me just say that I hate moving like God hates SIN. So, having to move and not choosing to move brings a level of stress that you can never quite prepare for.

As March crept on, we reviewed different options and repeatedly came up empty. To make matters worse, we knew that we had until the end of April to relocate while trying to keep our youngest in the same school district...........what a MESS!! In the process of looking, evaluating, searching and packing up everything that we didn't need, a little bit of depression set in when I realized that I wouldn't be able to serve my traditional HUGE Easter Dinner. I smiled and pretended that I was OK with not having all my children sitting around my beautiful table on Easter Sunday eating a carefully planned, prepared and delicious meal.

In order to minimize my ramblings, let me just say that we did find another place to live. Yep, on Easter Sunday, when I was spending my energy putting on a happy face, we stumbled up on the place we are currently moving into.

I also wanted to take this opportunity to give a little comparison shot.

On the left is April 2010 and the pic on the right was taken in August 2009.

Don't be afraid to let go of old things, people and places when life calls for a change.

Peace Lovies!!

15 months and counting

2010-04-05T20:07:00.000-07:00

Greetings Lovies!! Now that I got all that crappy stuff removed from my blog, I can return to posting some pics. I am half-way through my 15th month of the lock process. My braid pattern is basically gone but I still have curly-Q's on the ends of my locks. They will close up eventually, I'm not worried or rushing the process.

My retights are done every 5 weeks without fail. If I don't do it that often, then I end up having to do a lot of popping and separating locks-which makes the whole retight process take a lot longer than it should. I had that happen right after Thanksgiving when I was sick for 3 weeks and couldn't retighten my hair on schedule. When I finally felt well enough to do it, it was a MESS!!

Washing is a breeze. The trick for me is to get my scalp scrubbed clean. When you have hair that's relly thick and dense, like mine, you have to work hard on your scalp to make sure it's clean. I am using a black soap that works really well for me.

This pic is of my fresh washed locks.

I have definitely been delivered from being a product junkie. Why, because I finally figured out what works for me and what doesn't. I love my black soap shampoo, my water/rosemary spritz that I use regularly and my 100% pure aloe vera gel that I spread through my locks after a good washing.

Right now I am just focusing on letting them do what they do. They seem to be happy which makes me happy.

Peace Lovies!!!!!!

BEWARE!!!

2010-04-03T19:44:00.000-07:00

About two months ago, I made the mistake of adding a Real-Time Hit Counter to my blog. WHAT A HUGE MISTAKE THAT WAS!!!!!! What makes it worse, the counter that I added, was one from Blogger.com - I could see having a problem if I went out and added something from somewhere foreign - but not from our own host.

I found that I couldn't even SEE my own blog for 3 whole days. I could access the dashboard, but whenever I tried to view my blog, I was automatically re-directed to some stupid CRAP! Needless to say, I was totally undone by all this. I spent two hours, reading articles in the help center and removing things from my blog that I actually liked. RRRGGGHHH!!!!!! I may try to add my music back later once I can be sure that it wasn't part of the problem.

Please, please, please, DO NOT add any gadgets (a.k.a fun things) to your blog until the technicians and managers get this problem fixed. Save yourself some hassle. You don't even want to go through what I just went through.

Peace Lovies!!!!!

Just had to share......

2010-03-19T16:15:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when you get all my children together, point a camera at them and say "LOOK INTO THE CAMERA AND SMILE KIDS"........................................

Needless to say, they are all CRAZY!!

Peace Lovies!!

Welcome Back - YAY ME!!

2010-03-19T07:20:00.000-07:00

Hello Lovies,

I have been on a forced internet hiatus for about a month. Actually, I'm glad for the little break because I was able to spend some time doing things other than checking emails, etc. So let's get down with some updates. I am 15 months into my lock journey and all I can say is "SO FAR SO GOOD". I still get compliments about my locks looking like Sisterlocks - I don't think they do, but other people think so. They are starting to look less like braids and more like locks and have grown out quite a bit. I will post pictures soon - my new puppy chewed up the adapter to my digital camera so I can't upload any pics at the moment. I love my new puppy she's a HOT MESS!!

That's all for now!! Peace and Herbal tea for everyone!! LOL!!

An Addition to the Family

2010-02-12T07:27:00.001-08:00

Hello blog-fam. I figured it was about time you met my future daughter-in-law. They got engaged on Christmas morning and are planning to marry after graduate school.

Do I have a problem with the fact that she's white? Nope!! Have I already been tested on the matter? YEP!! How did I respond? I'll tell you:

She spent the holidays with us which meant she participated in our family tradition of getting up early and going to Christmas Morning Service at our church. After service, we opened our Christmas presents and my son popped the big question. Woo Hoo!! Our daughter immediately posted the good news on her facebook page and the phone calls started. Was I surprised by this? Nope!! Everyone at church was all questions and smiles - then 1 week later the comments started (or at least TRIED to start).

One of my dance ministry buddies was the first: "I see ya'll have a white girl in the family now"....then another one saw her opportunity and jumped right in "Yeah, his little girlfriend was all over him at church last week - how ya'll plan to deal with that".

Now, let me just pause for those of you who don't know me that well. I am not, nor have I ever been anti-white. I am, however, and shall remain PRO-BLACK. My husband and I have always encouraged our children to judge people on the content of their character not the color of their skin. Anyone who knows me (or at least claims to know me) is aware of that fact. I have never said to any of my children "Don't bring home a white girl (or white boy). Why? Because I simply don't give a damn!!

OK, back to the story. Here was my response to my two buddies; "First of all, she's not his girlfriend she's his fiance' and Curtis and I are very happy to welcome her into our family. She's a very sweet girl, respectful and really cares for our son and the fact that she's white is obviously more of an issue to YOU than it is to US. So, as you go back and have your individual conversations about MY family, please inform them that I have gone on record having said I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT".

What's the moral to this story? When your children start dating, any responsible parent is going to look at the prospective person and say "Is this person worthy of my child's heart?" We cannot chose who our children fall in love with, although some parents have tried and failed miserably. All we can do is pray, pray, pray and pray some more that they make the right decision for themselves. They will have enough bull sh** to deal with out there in the world, they shouldn't have to deal with it within of their own family. We plan to give them our love and support as they take this journey.

Peace Lovies!!

HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH!!!!!!

2010-02-03T07:52:00.000-08:00

This is Black History Month.......time to focus on the accomplishments and sacrifices of our ancestors. Technically, everyday should be Black History Month in our community, but I digress. I have started a personal challenge that I'd like you to participate in. Every day, I am going to learn something new about our people. Everything from food, fashion, education, achievements, writings, arts, you name it, I'm going to learn it.

But more importantly, I am going to sit down with an Elder this month and just listen to her talk. I already know who it will be, and I know I'm in for a time of listening to every story known to man!! Does that bother me? Nope!! Why? Because, one of the main problems within 'our' community is that the young ones don't want to talk to the old ones because they feel that theres nothing to gain from it. Well, my generation is the last link to the Civil Rights Movement, we were not old enough to be a part of it, but we were raised by those who were a part of it. After our generation, the Civil Rights Movement will be nothing more than something in a History Book. So, it's important, at least to me, to learn what I can at the feet of the Elders and be ready to pass that knowledge on.

It's Black History Month!! Don't let it get away from you without taking the time to learn a little sumpin, sumpin.

Peace Lovies!!

Everybody do something..................

2010-01-17T18:54:00.000-08:00

We will never know why certain things have to happen. Why a 7.0 earthquake has to hit a nation already severely stricken by poverty. Why children have to die, families have to be separated from each other, can't get help to areas that need it the most, despair, worry, death, you name it Haiti has it right now. What can we do? Donate, donate, donate; pray, pray, pray send your positive energy to Haiti and all the organizations trying desperately to get supplies to those who need them, when you have done all that, do it all over again.

Let's not forget our brothers and sisters in Haiti. Moreover, let this horrific event birth in each of us a sense of urgency to help other impoverished nations. Nobody can do everything, but everybody needs to do something!

Peace Lovies!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

2010-01-02T10:13:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to the most wonderful husband in the world!!!!! Even though you are 50 today and trying not to feel 'old', you still make me smile everytime I see you.

Love you BIG DADDY!!

My how time flies

2009-12-23T21:27:00.001-08:00

It is Christmas Eve 2009 and my youngest turns 14 today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BOY - of course he's not really a baby any more..........

No matter what we do, no matter how hard we try these little bear cubs have the audacity to grow up. They don't bother checking with you to make sure it's OK with you that they get older, more independent, think for themselves, make their own decisions about what's right or wrong......One day you are in the hospital cuddling them in your arms, and the next thing you know, they are almost as tall as you are and capable of remembering EVERYTHING you say, except how to clean their room or do their homework.

Motherhood, wouldn't take nothin' for THIS journey.

Peace!!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-12-21T12:43:00.000-08:00

YAY. YAHOO. YIPEE. HOORAY!!!!!!!!!

Yep. It's finally here........seems like it took forever - but I made it. Yesterday marked my 1 year lock-i-versary. YAY ME!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY HAIR!!! YAY LOCKS!!!!!!!

It has been an incredible journey, one that I wish I would have done a lot sooner. But, I am really glad that I took the time to get to know my hair by being natural for almost 3 years before lockin' it up. My hair is doing well, if I were to guess, I'd say I am about 70% locked. I have lost most of my braid pattern and I don't do anything to stretch my hair out. I figure it knows what to do and doesn't really need me messin' with it's process. I just keep up on my retightenings, wash and spritz it regularly that's about it.

What better way to celebrate my anniversary than to post a pic of my oldest and dearest friend. We have been best friends since we were 7 years old. He has been with me through everything and through it all, we have remained good friends - even times when HIS hair was longer than mine. LOL!!

Have a blessed and wonderful holiday season.

Peace Lovies!!

Acting Silly

2009-12-15T19:31:00.000-08:00

My daughter decided to make my son look like Mr. Cindy Lou Who.

Gotta love having grown children. Life is GOOD!!

Peace Lovies!!

Keep the LIGHT.

2009-12-14T09:54:00.000-08:00

Peace and Light Lovies!!

During this time of hustling around preparing for the holidays - spending money and planning to get all my little chick-a-dees to the dinner table for Christmas, hubby and I took time out to go and visit a dear friends The Hanks.

Pulling into the driveway, we admired the Christmas decor which was a complex combination of classy greens, reds, golds with a strong afro-centric presence. We rang the doorbell and our friend greeted us with a huge smile and hugs with his frail arms. I was shocked and shaken by his obvious dramatic weight loss and immediately became concerned that our visit may be too much for him. So, being the planner-ahead that I am, I quickly started to think of how to shorten the visit so not to over exasperate our beloved friend. Then a funny thing happened, I looked into his face and the light that radiated from his eyes and smile melted away all of the anxiety I felt at that moment.

We sat in this warm beautiful home, by the fireplace talking about kids, life, marriage, Tiger, Michael, Barack, his experiences at the Inauguration, civil rights, civil wrongs and civil liberties. The beauty of this visit was that this man, while having an obvious battle with cancer was more interested in what was going on in the lives of his family, his friends and his community than what was going on with him personally. Life truly has a funny way of working things out because this trip was meant to check in on our friend whom we love and show him some love. This trip turned out to be a lesson for US in how to live, love, survive and thrive. I watched in awe as our very tall thin friend wandered into the kitchen to make himself some herbal tea. His wife constantly offered to do it for him but he insisted upon doing it himself never breaking from our constant flow of conversations.

Most of you know that I had been down sick for about 14 days. During that time, I slept a lot and waited for the day when I could really get out and about. I had never had a simple cold take me down like that but, I learned a strong lesson about what it really means to be 'down but not out' during this visit. Our friend has had several surgeries over the last 2 years, yet he has remained strong, mentally sharp and full of faith. He and his lovely wife taught us yesterday the valuable lesson of positive thinking and the value of positive friends. I won't say that he was in better spirits when we left or that our visit was a blessing to him ya'll know those cliche's we use when we visit sick people. In this situation none of those apply because he brought love, light and positive energy to us the minute he opened the door to his home. As we pulled out of their driveway, I felt refreshed, renewed and ready to get up and do something. I told my hubby that I felt so blessed to have been in the company of such powerfully positive people.

Time to do a systems check lovies:

Check your focus and all of your internal light bulbs. If any of your internal lights our out, change the bulbs immediately. Check your outlets and see if any of them are in need of repair. Are you losing energy anywhere? Has someone tapped into your power supply without your permission?

Sounds kind of crazy, but last night we learned the value of even exchanges among friends who love each other. See, we went to bless a friend by our presence during a complex time for him - instead of leaving feeling exhausted, we felt like we could conquer the world. His presence filled both of us with the desire to re-evaluate our lives, goals, direction, face down challenges, etc.

I encourage you all to check your power sources and make sure you are go or no-go for launch (a little Apollo 13 talk).

Fight on Larry - we are with you!!

Peace and Light!!

One Mo'

2009-12-02T08:33:00.000-08:00

Today is my 46th birthday!! Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me-ee, happy birthday to me!!! Yay ME!!

I am suffering with a bad cold that has had me down this week, but I have plenty of cool magazines, some very good herbal Enchenacia tea (prepared by my oldest), a comfy quilt (made by my Mama), my dog (Zeus) napping on my bed with me and my puppy (Atheena) running around chewing on EVERYTHING. Not quite the day I wanted, but GREAT just the same.

I celebrate and embrace every birthday because it's another opportunity for me to grow, learn, teach, love, live, dance, laugh, cry, fight, apologize, move on and do it all over again. Many of my high school class mates didn't live long enough to see 30 so their lives (which were gone waaaayyy too soon) taught me to live, live and continue to live some more. Life is a journey not a destination, you never arrive, you just simply transform from one into the next.

On today, I pledge to give myself the gift of good health, peace of mind and a balanced and strong spirit.

Peace Lovies!!

I'll be singing this all day: Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me-ee, happy birthday to me!!!

Behind the Mask

2009-11-16T12:26:00.000-08:00

When I saw this picture on another blog, I stopped and stared at it for the longest time.

Initially I thought about Michael Jackson - his life, time, talent, stuggles, accusations and premature death. Then, I couldn't help but to apply this picture to my own life. Growing up in a small mid-western town with dark-skin in the 70's was a trip. Even though we were "sayin' it loud" while being "black and proud", and Jessie had an Afro and wore a dashiki sometimes, we were still trying to find ourselves in a society that told us that big lips, dark skin and huge Afros were part of some dark, alternative lifestyle. Because of that, when I think back over the years, I lose count of the long list of names that I was called (skillet and blackie are two that come to mind). All of them had a horrible impact on me for most of my life I started to hate how I looked so much that I only looked in the mirror when I had to and I hated taking pictures. During my teen years, finding makeup for my chocolate skin presented another challenge which made me further question God's handiwork.

Time is its own healer and teacher, if you allow it. Unfortunately, I was in my 30's when I decided to actually re-claim my identity. My daughter was 3 years old and I figured I'd be damned if I was going to let her have the same struggle. So, how could I teach her to appreciate her beauty if I didn't know how to appreciate my own. So, with some help from the inspirational writings of Susan Taylor, I decided to undress myself, spend some time admiring what God had created and truly embrace my beauty for the fierce perfection that it is. I was re-born at that moment, now I walk in the perfection of God's creation as the true Queen that I am.

My heart bleeds for those who are still living behind the mask. Working harder to please society than you are to please yourself is the definition of INSANITY. At the end of the day, when I look in the mirror it's me that's staring back - no one else but me, and I LOVE ME!!

"I'd be starvin' if I ate all the lies they fed". (India.Arie)

Be inspired, be yourself!!

Peace Lovies!!!!

10 month Hair Facts

2009-10-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

This 10 month thing is quite a milestone for me. When I first started this journey, I couldn't conceive of being patient for this length of time. Here are some things I have learned along the way:

1. I started out with 435 braids but over these months, I have combined about 10 of them because I didn't like the way they felt at the time. Some of them seemed to be a little weak - so I didn't want to risk losing them after a while. Most of the ones I combined are right at the nape of my neck, where my hair is most likely to break.

2. My hair doesn't like much attention or product. This is a revelation that I came to when I was wearing my fro for 3 years. Learning that lesson then has helped me understand what my hair is doing now. So, I only use a clarifying shampoo on a weekly basis (usually after one of my dance ministry rehearsals) and I spritz daily. My spritz has aloe, water, jojoba oil and rosemary oil in it.

3. My hair is about 17 different lengths...LOL!! It has always been that way, even when I was a creamy crack addict my hair was a bunch of different lengths. I'm not concerned about it because, for me, it just adds to the volume and uniqueness, which is very important to me. My longest loc is about 10 inches long and my shortest loc, which is at the nape is only 4 inches long.

5. People still think I have sisterlocks........I can't believe that. The trademark of properly done sisterlocks is the uniformity of the parts and size of the locs. Mine are different sizes based on the texture of my hair. Did I mention that I have 4 different textures on my 1 big head? LOL??
So, where my hair is a looser curl pattern, thinner and a little more fragile, the locs are a little bigger (i.e. mostly the top and crown of my head). The locs around my temples are bigger because I have always had a tendency of breaking there. Where my hair is more coarse, the locs are smaller, the sides and just below the crown across the back. Originally I tried small locs at the nape, but as time moved on, they felt funny so I combined them. As for the parts, HA HA HA, careful examination will reveal parts that are ALL OVER THE PLACE. I have read on several blogs that perfect parts are very much an issue for them to the point of causing some of my sistahs great stress. Don't want the stress so I have never let that be a concern.

OK, that's it for now. I will do some comparison shots soon and prepare for my 1 year anniversary - which is right around Christmas (my present to ME - YAY!!). Enjoy the pics below.

Peace Lovies!!!!

Ten Months

2009-10-27T09:15:00.000-07:00

It's been 10 months and I have had a ball. No problems really......Starting to see more of a lock pattern and less of the braids. I'm spritzing my hair daily because this weather is murder on my tresses. Hope you enjoy the pictures and I hope you are having as much fun with your locks as I am with mine. Peace Lovies!!

2009-10-12T20:59:00.000-07:00

9 Months!!

I can't believe I am in month 9 of my loc journey. I have gotten into this really silly habit of playing with my hair. I have to stop myself sometimes.................

I haven't had any bad days, no awkward periods - or maybe I just haven't chosen to notice them. LOL!! Oh well, nine months and counting. Peace Lovies!!

HAPPY 24TH!!

2009-10-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

Today is my 24th Wedding Anniversary.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

October 12, 1985
When I look at this picture and remember that I was 21 and he was 25 - I remember two grown kids who had NO CLUE what they were getting into. Had no idea that God would give them 4 musicians to raise and knit them together so close that you would have a hard time throwing a feather between them.

FAST FORWARD 24 YEARS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

We had a long competition weekend with our youngest son and today we spent our anniversary day recuperating. My hubby woke me up this morning telling me to get whatever I wanted from the grocery store and HE would cook it for my special anniversary dinner. So, this evening, I had a wonderful veggie stir-fry with white wine. But, most importantly, I was reminded of how fortunate I am to have shared this many years with the same man. Not just the same man, but one who has been intent on letting me be me and giving lots of encouragement, friendship, comfort, laughter and love on this marital journey. To have a husband who is also your best friend is a major blessing.

Peace Lovies!!

August 2009

Special Moments

2009-09-23T21:01:00.000-07:00

I couldn't resist posting this pic. These are my sons. The two oldest are over their 1-year mark and my youngest has just reached his 1-year. When we had them all together, which is not often, we took the whole family to the park and took pictures. My husband did the black & white stuff with his photoshop. Do you Like??

These moments are few and far in between - so, we have learned to make them count. This was a WONDERFUL day.

PEACE LOVIES!!

Goodbye!!

2009-09-15T20:44:00.001-07:00

This was one cool white dude. He had talent, grace and a style all his own.

My condolences to his friends and family.

Peace Lovies!!

Is Everybody Crazy?

2009-09-15T19:53:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to come up with some logical reasons why Kanye, Serena and Joe Wilson all lost their minds last week.

Here's my top 10:

1. There was a full moon.

2. They were all on their periods

3. They all drank out of the same water bottle

4. They all had insomnia and spent the week watching repeats of "The Boondocks" in the middle of the night.

5. Lack of good meds?

6. Lack of the really good drugs!!

8. They all took Tylenol instead of Prozac.

9. They forgot?.............................................

10. They really are crazy!!

Seriously, let's vibe for a minute over these recent events.

First, a disrespectful congressman yells out YOU LIE at the President of the United States during his speech? Then, Serena totally lost it at a Tennis Match on national television, which is something I've never seen her do. To make matters worse, Kanye makes a complete jackass out of himself on the VMA's. Unfortunately this time, an inocent young lady got caught in his ignorant cross-fire. Don't get it twisted, his momentary rant had nothing to do with Beyonce or Taylor Swift, but it had everything to do with his own misgivings with the VMA's and award shows in general.

Your emotions are the one thing that you own that cannot be repossesed or stolen. They are yours FOREVER and no one can change that. However, it is not your inherited right to let your emotions injure, embarrass, harrass or belittle someone else. It is completely irresponsible for you to let whatever you feel come flying out of your mouth like projectile vomit.

So, if you think the president is a liar (which I DON'T) or you think that you have gotten a bad call or even that the majority of award shows are prejudiced, then fine. There are a lot of ways to handle a situation - yellin out threats and open derogatory comments or making your point at the expense of someone else is NOT COOL. I've heard some say that that Kanye was just "keepin' it real" and "he's always been that way so what do you expect". What do I expect? I expect a professional athlete to act like one, I expect people to respect the office of President whether you like the one occupying the office or not and I also expect for a young man to keep his Mama's legacy alive by acting like she actually taught him something.

Is that too much to ask for??

Peace Lovies!!

Little Update

2009-08-16T14:11:00.000-07:00

OK..............This is concerning my youngest and his little locs. They are growing and growing and his retights were going well, until I switched gel and MAN OH MAN WHAT A MESS. After his July 4th retight, his locs looked GREAT. Then I noticed that his hair was looking 'dusty/dirty'

and they felt crunchy. So, I decided to wash and retighten them again. When I sat down to go through his locs and get a good look at them, I also noticed that he had about 3 inches of new growth - MAN THIS BOY 'S HAIR GROWS FAST and gel buildup!! So I knew I was going to have to make a drastic change in his overall routine, one that would allow frequent washing, no gel buildup and get his hair under control.

This weekend, I washed his hair with a very strong shampoo, conditioned it with jojoba oil in my favorite conditioner - spritzed it generously with my Rosemary oil/water mix and did the retightening using the interloc method. Because he's much more active now, I will have to wash his hair more frequently, so my gel and twist method is OVER for him. I have to say, it took almost 4 hours to retighten his hair because he had so much of it that needed to be tightened. So, here he is, no more dusty locs. LOL!!

P.S. That gel went into the TRASH!!

Peace Lovies!!

August Retight

2009-08-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I just finished my monthly retight and here are some updates:

I had to do a lot more separating this time around. I think I need to do a better job of that when I wash my hair.

The retightening didn't take as long - I know I'm getting a little faster at doing it, but I really think it's going faster because I am keeping to a very strict 4 week schedule. My hair is so dense, that my hair start to do some funny things if I go any longer between retightenings.

My hair is definitely starting to lock up - I have noticed that the braid pattern is starting to disappear.

I combined about 5 or 6 of them because I wasn't comfortable with how they felt at the roots (can't really explain that any further). I figured, combine them now or risk losing them later - so I went with combining. LOL!!

Here are a few pics:

It's been so hot here lately, now I can actually feel the wind on my scalp. LOL!!!!!

Peace Lovies!!

What's Going On (Final)

2009-08-01T19:02:00.000-07:00

A little update on my middle son, Bryen. For those that don't know, he marches with a drum corps and was told by one of the assistant directors back in March that in order to march this summer he had to cut his hair. Of course, I wasn't happy and neither was my son. The director told me in a very unprofessional email that the corp had to maintain a certain "image" and that "trendy, edgy, urban hairstyles were not acceptable"...........

Well, my son did his reasearch and found out that several trendy, edgy styles had been tolerated from caucasions in the past. One of the drum majors (who is also white) told my son "The director is an idiot, I think your hair is cool and you definitely should NOT cut it".

Long story short, the head directors WIFE told Bryen at the beginning of the season that he should not consider cutting his locks - he had the right to express himself. She told him in front of the rest of the staff "Just make sure they are neatly tucked under your helment during competition and everything would be just fine.

This article appeared on July 18th in a local newspaper:

Tuba player Bryen Warfield practices with the Bluecoats of Canton, Ohio, on Wednesday at C.H. Collins Athletic Complex. The Bluecoats and seven other groups will compete in the Red River Thunder Drum and Bugle Corps show at 6 p.m. Sunday. www.cavaliers.org.

As you can see, my baby's lovely locs (that he maintains himself) are alive, well and doing just fine. So what have we learned from this little test? Perseverance!! Don't be afraid to be who you are - be comfortable with your style choices (dress, hair, etc.). When you are confronted with the kind of fear and ignorance my son had to deal with, don't be afraid to do your research and stand very strong.

Peace Lovies!!

Little Locs

2009-07-25T07:04:00.001-07:00

This is my youngest son. He's 13 and we are very sure that he is actually my father-in-law sent back to us because God has a sense of humor!! This boy is an absolute MESS, he has a hed full of thick coily hair - that he never wanted to comb and absolutely HATED getting it cut. He did sport a little fro for about a year but his hair is so thick and grows so fast, keeping up with it was darn near impossible.

I installed his locs in August of last year. So, he's just a few weeks shy of his 1 year mark. Here are a few pics of him. Those little locs of his definitely do their own thang most times, he looks like a little martian because he has antenni sticking up off the top of his head.......but he's so dang CUTE, he pulls it off with very little effort.

This pic on the right was taken when I started his last retight.

As you can see, there is NO visible SCALP. LOL!!

The pics above were taken right after I finished his retight. Of course, he does NOT like taking pictures, so getting him to stand still long enough to take this picture was like catching mosquitos! HA HA HA.

His ends are still closing up but everything else is fully loc'd. This was the best decision we ever made for him and he's lovin' his little journey.

Peace Lovies!!

Comparisons

2009-07-25T06:53:00.000-07:00

A member of one of the groups I am in asked me a very interesting question. She is considering installing her own traditional locs and asked me if there was any difference between locs started with comb coils and locs started as two-strand twists. While the installation technique is totally different, there is very little difference between the two once the hair is fully loc'd. I thought that was a really good question - so I decided to post some comparison pictures. As far as I can tell, the only difference may be in the size of the loc. But, as you can see, there is no real visible difference.

The pic on the left is my oldest son, whose locs were started as comb coils in a salon. The pic on the right is of my youngest, I started his locs with two-strand twists.

Thought Therapy

2009-07-17T11:24:00.000-07:00

The weather is relatively cool today - mid 70's with a slight breeze. I've openned the windows of my house to let the fresh air blow through and rush out all the funny smells and vibes that tend to collect in my home during the winter months and the hot days when the AC is constantly running.

Last night my daughter gave me India.Arie's newest CD as a gift "Testimony: Vol 2" if you haven't purchased this masterpiece you definitely NEED to get it.

A cool summer's breeze is blowing through my bedroom windows, India is playing and I am compelled to share an experience I had today. One of my co-workers is having a particularly difficult time right now, they have 5 children, she's working part-time and her husband is out of work. They recently lost their home and are living with her brother who is letting her know by his words and actions that she and her family are imposing on him (forgetting that he once lived with her and her family while he got on his feet). She told me today that this downward spiral started about 5 years ago and it is her and her husband's own undoing. Long story short, they both have spent time in jail and they are both on probation at this time. She said, "I'm sure it was one of my secretaries who turned me in, I don't blame them, I was doing wrong, basically stealing from my company and needed to be caught. Going to jail for 27 months was the best thing that could have happened to me. During that time of being isolated from my family I came to understand that I caused my own imprisonment".

Many of us are in one sort of prison or another, maybe a relationship that has gone haywire, some kind of loss, a health issue that has you bound, a financial mess, etc. I am a firm believer in looking inward BEFORE you look to outside sources for the cause of your current circumstance and talking with my co-worker today confirmed this belief. Even with all of this going on, she feels that she's in a process that they must go through to learn a higher lesson, so she's being patient with the process and trusting both God and her own heart. We don't cause every situation that takes place in our lives, sometimes things just hit us out of nowhere (i.e. a cancer diagnosis, a illness upon one of our children, death of a parent, death of a friend, etc) so we should never beat ourselves up when somehting happens.

We all have times where we feel isolated, emotionally or physically (can't talk to anybody about what's going on, friends are nowhere to be found, etc). If that's your situation, right now, don't sit and wait for someone to come along and heal you or rescue you - that's the worse thing you can do. The best thing you can do for your mind and spirit is to start your own process of growth and/or healing by looking within, being honest about what you may or may not have done to bring about your situation. IF you find that some energy within you needs to be released (anger, guilt, sadness, shame, etc.) release it immediately. How do you release: channel that energy into something (i.e. writing yourself a letter and forgiving yourself, writing a letter to someone who you feel has harmed you in some way and forgiving them, yoga, aerobics, swimming, running, biking, dancing, singing - whatever activity you do that you truly enjoy). AVOID destructive habits like smoking, drinking and/or sex because channeling your negative energy into those activities leads to dependance on those things to make you "feel better". This is not about "feeling better - or forgetting your problems for a little while" this is about unlocking things within - bringing them out into your own plain eyesight and dealing with them so they don't continue to 'deal' with YOU.

Continue to Grow. Continue to GLOW.

Peace Lovies!!

The Beauty of a Man!

2009-07-07T20:09:00.000-07:00

As I struggle to make peace with things happening around me - things that I have no control over, wouldn't want to have the power to control, but yet, these things are still the source that motivates me to write this post.

We all had to take our time to come to grips with the sudden death of Michael Jackson. Most of us remember the bright eyed innocent wonder with the wide brimmed purple hat aced/deuced to one side mesmerizing us with his vocals on the Ed Sullivan Show back in the 70's. Some of us hold fondly to the memories of him amazing us by moon-walking into his destiny in 1995. Whatever your memory of him is, hold to the positive and not the negatives that will surely surface - because as we know every fool on the planet has something to say about someone who's dead and can no longer defend himself.

On a personal note, the cherry on the pie of my month (June) started the day before father's day when I was awakened by my husband who said firmly "You need to get up and get dressed, Steve had a heart attack and is on his way to the hospital" (Steve is about 22 years older than me and is one of the best friends I ever had). So, I sprung out the bed, set a world record for the "Fastest Female to get Cleaned up and Dressed" and hurried across town to the hospital.
As the days went on, I sat with his wife of 40 years, and watched his son (36) and daughter (38) struggle with the closure that was sure to come. On Tuesday, I was blessed to be present when the neurologist delivered bad news to the family - news that Steve's daughter would not allow herself to accept (can't say that I blame her). Wednesday, I was their when they started dialysis because his kidneys were shutting down. Thursday, my husband and I watched him have electronic seizures and the brain monitors showed how his brain activity was rapidly decreasing. So, I said my goodbyes, thanked him for his unfailing friendship and began to ask myself and my husband, "What am I going to do without Steve?". This question sums up the ultimate struggle that I am still having today. On the way home from the hospital, it was announced that Michael Jackson died......WHAT??

Saturday, Steve's wife, children, and our pastor (who was a long-time friend of Steve's) met with his team of doctors so they could confirm everything that we already knew, He was gone and the only thing keeping him alive was the respirator. The following Monday, I took my kids to see "Transformers" - which was a welcomed break from it all............I had the strangest revelation during that movie and it was confirmed about 45 minutes later that my beloved friend, confidant, the consumate joker, the kindest man I had ever known was GONE.

Perhaps the most ironic thing is, both Steve and Michael died of the same thing. They both had massive heart attacks (brought on by totally different things, of course). The big difference was, Steve was at home with his wife when it happened and Michael was 'presumed' to be alone at the time his hit. Nevertheless, another good person is gone and I am left with 1,000 funny stories about him and memories that I will keep with me forever.

Even more fascinating, at the time that most people were huddled around their TV sets or computers watching the memorial service of Michael Jackson (an Indiana native son) we were laying to rest our dearest friend (another Indiana native son).

Steve's son gave a beautiful tribute today at his funeral, he said "I have nothing to be sad about, my father lived a wonderful life, did everything he wanted to do. We had a good relationship, talked often I will miss him, but I am at peace with it because I am proud of the life he led and the legacy he leaves behind."

That's the beauty of a beautiful man. Goodbye dear friend, I will miss you terribly and remember you fondly, until we meet again!!!!!!!!

Peace Lovies!!

Six Months

2009-06-30T08:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been 6 months for this lovely journey and it's been fun. However, if I had known that my hair would be a conversation starter, I would have thought of something else to do. LOL!! I got followed into a McDonalds by a women who wanted to know WHO did my hair. A lady started up a conversation with me at the doctor's office......the list goes on and on. A little attention ain't bad. (smile)

Anyhoo, I have started to do some styles and thought I post a few random pics:

I was actually running late to choir rehearsal when I created this one.

This was pulled back into a clip with a little swag on the side. This is the day that the lady followed me into McDonalds.

This was my Sunday-go-to-meetin' do. I was quite suprised that I could pull all of my locs into one clip in the back.

This is one of my hair ties that I have made - with the matching earrings. I have made several of them.

As you can see, I have been having a lot of fun with my hair, it's been really hot here in the midwest for the last 2 weeks. The hot weather has actually inspired me to try different things. Next, it's on to some headwraps, of course I will post some pics.

Peace Lovies!!

Never Can Say Goodbye

2009-06-28T18:48:00.001-07:00

I've said it many times. I grew up in a small town in Michigan the 70's - a time when you could hang around outside after dark, leave your door unlocked and everybody went to church. In addition to that, the 70's was a time when you only saw black entertainers on The Ed Sullivan Show and/or the Merv Griffin show.

There was no internet, youtube, BET videos, colored TV or cable. So, an announcement that the Jackson 5, The Temptations, Gladys Night and the Pips, James Brown, etc., was coming on one of those shows was enough to shut down any game of street football, tag, baseball, stickball, a hopscotch tournament, or any other neighborhood olympics. Our mothers and fathers would proclaim from the front porches or stoops "The Jackson 5 is coming on theEd Sullivan Show" and the streets would empty quicker than any thunderstorm that frequently sent us running for shelter on those midwestern hot summer days.

As I grew older I accumulated pictures, albums, CD's cassettes, children and a husband. Hubby and I have worked hard to keep the legacies of people like Michael Jackson, EWF, Marvin Gaye, The Temptations, The Supremes, and many more alive so our children can grow from them and understand where today's music truly comes from. When we heard the news about Michael Jackson, we were numb, and our children were devastated. All my husband and I could remember was that beautiful, bright eyed little boy with a huge afro and a wide brimmed hat aced-duced over to one side mezmerizing us with his voice on the Ed Sullivan show.

I cannot and will not comment on the trials of his life, all I can say is I hope that his next life will give him more peace than he got in this one. He gave unselfishly of himself to leave us with a tremendous legacy of music, let's let go of the unproven allegations and remember all of the good that he did. Rest In Peace Michael Jackson - we will see you again on the other side.

Peace Lovies!!

Water, Water, Water

2009-06-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

It's summer time and I absolutely LOVE hot weather!!! I wanted to take a few moments to talk Spritz. I have heard that you should spritz your hair in the early stages of locking because it will slow down the loc process and/or make your hair come loose. Well, I have found that spritzing is the best thing I can do for my hair. I don't have any issues with itchy scalp or dandruff. I know that everyone's hair is different, so I can only talk about what works for ME. My hair LOVES the water and reacts very well to the daily spritz routine.

My spritz contains distilled water, aloe vera gel, almond oil, jojoba oil and a precious few drops of rosemary oil. I can't stress enough that you have to be careful with the rosemary oil - rosemary increases blood flow. If you are prone to high blood pressure, PLEASE do not use the rosemary at all. On the day that I had my biopsy, my blood pressure was a little high - I forgot about the rosemary oil in my spritz and spritzed my hair, as usual, before I went in for my procedure. Also, because I have rosemary in my spritz, I do not use it before I exercize or go to dance practice.

I have also found that it is absolutely necessary that you take in the appropriate amount of water each day. I hear people say "I don't like water" - well all I can say to that is, it doesn't matter if you like water or not, your body NEEDS it. I drink 64 ounces of water each day without fail, it is good for your body, your skin and your hair. Those of you who may be having problems with itchy scalp or dry hair, before you go spend money on another product, check your water intake, if you are drinking less than 8, 8oz glasses of water, then you are not giving your body what it needs. Most of us don't realize that some of the problems we are having with our hair can easily be corrected with the right combinations of water, vitamins, herbs and eating the right things. Before I went natural, my hair was a HOT MESS. I was stressed, vitamin defficent and not eating properly. Once I corrected those things, I saw an immediate turn around with my skin, nails and hair. Being lock'd has it's own set of responsibilities just like any other lifestyle. While we are at different stages of our journeys, let us not forget to take care of ourselves and love ourselves from the inside out. Growth does not start at the skin, it starts beneath the skin and that's where we have to start feeding our hair, beneath the skin with the proper amount of water and nutrients.

Peace Lovies!!

Five Months

2009-06-12T16:47:00.001-07:00

I'm late posting these pics because my home internet service was off for a while. Anyhoo, I am about 1 week shy of my 6 month anniversary but my hubby took this picture and I really liked it and thought I would post it.

This one is called "Mop-heads". We were getting ready to go to an Open House after getting our daughter off to her senior prom and hubby said, "I need to see all the Mopheads in the living room for a picture". I'm proud to be a mop-head!!

ISN'T SHE LOVELY!!

There she goes, to her Senior Prom. I remember when that girl would crawl into bed with me at night........now, she's off to college in a couple months. Man how time flies when you're having FUN.

Sitting at the Feet of the Elders

2009-06-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a small town in Michigan the 70's - a time when you could leave your door unlocked while walking to the neighborhood store, play outside until the streetlights came on, be out all over the neighborhood all day in the summer and only come home to drink a little 'red' kool-aid on a break and then you were right back out the door again. The other thing about that time was - you had BETTER respect your elders. You didn't even think of raising up an eyebrow at any of them unless you wanted to get your BUTT BEAT by them and then by your parents when you got home. The 70's was a time where everyone in the neighborhood could whoop your a** at a momen't notice. Gone are the days baby. Gone are the days.

I am currently working as a research interviewer for Indiana University School of Phsychiatry. Every day I go out and meet African American Senior Citizens in my city and ask them a series of questions to help with the research for Alzheimers and Dementia for which there is no cure at this point.

I have met some of the most WONDERFUL, wise and energetic Elders that I have ever seen in my entire life. They are positive, sweet, courageous and a joy to be around - keep in mind that they range in age from 65 to 99 and some of them are quite ill. Even some of the most cranky old men have a wealth of wisdom that they are glad to share to anyone who will listen.

One gentleman that I interviewed yesterday has cancer in his throat and it has slowly started to spread. He's 87 years old. When I arrived at his house, it was raining badly and he wife let me in and offered me coffee. I looked out the window and saw my 87 year old client climbing up a ladder OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN to clean out his gutters.

During the interview, he became emotional..........not sad, understand, this gentleman started shouting hallelujah because he's happy to have lived this long and knows that he still has a lot of living to do. Now, think about this for a minute, he's 87 - has cancer - his wife had a heart attack and a mild stroke while she was in he hospital recovering fromt he heart attack recently - but all he can think about is how good his creator has been to him and how wonderful his life is. The other thing I noticed about him is that he doesn't look sick. I quickly learned that the reason he doesn't look sick is because he refuses to 'act' like he's sick. He said he's going to keep moving and keep doing things until he just can't do them any more. He feels that he's left here for a reason - and he's going to keep going until his creator says "Stop".

This new journey has awakened a deep sense in me to re-address how I live. My body is a temple and it must be respected. My mind is also precious and it needs to be fed more than my body. My spirit is what centers me, massages my thoughts and helps to keep me grounded and SANE. I have given great thought to what I feed my mind, body and spirit and decided that some changes need to be made - so that I can be the elder that a young sistah or brothah can one day gain some life lessons from.

Let that lift you up!!

Peace Lovies!!

Breast Care

2009-05-11T07:46:00.001-07:00

Well, Well, Well,

I have been away from my blog for about a month - I didn't realize how much I missed it until I logged into it today. Am I just plain lazy, NO. I reached a point about 3 weeks ago when time came to a screetching HALT.

I went for my mammogram about a month ago - It was my first one and I was very nervous about it. I should have been having them.....I KNOW, but I was always too busy, didn't have insurance for a while, blah, blah, blah. When you get past all of the excuses I used, I was just plain SCARED to go and have one. One day, my physician's office called and harrassed me about it and I called that afternoon and scheduled an appointment. The appointment went well, I was in and out in a matter of minutes and I felt like a FOOL for being so afraid (even though my chest felt like somebody backed over it with their CAR.

Anyhoo, 1 week passes and I get a call telling me that they found 3 nodules and I would need to go in for an Ultrasound. That's when time STOPPED. I freaked out, called my husband and he immediately calmed me down - he is the absolute BEST at doing that. I scheduled the appointment and went in 2 days later. Didn't tell anyone but Hubby what was going on - he asked if he needed to go with me and I said No. I was determined to handle this like the 45 year old woman that I am. Had the ultrasound and the doctor came in and said a word that NO ONE wants to hear - the word was BIOPSY. He did go on to say that non-cancerous masses were common in African American woman and that I shouldn't worry until there was something to worry about (same words my husband used).

Called Mama - she FREAKED and wanted to come to town for the procedure. I said NO, I wanted her to wait until I knew if I would need something more extensive. Had a talk with my children - had to really sugar coat things for my 13 year old, but my others are grown so they got the blunt truth of the situation. My middle son is the one who was away, so his was the hardest conversation because we had to have it over the phone. My daughter DEMANDED to talk to the doctor so SHE could be sure he knew what he was doing. Told my best-girlfriends and they all started to pray, call and check on me constantly, etc. They did all that stuff the women are supposed to do for each other. When I told Rose, her response was, PICK ME UP ON THE WAY TO THE APPOINTMENT. Got to love my girl!!!!!

I spent 2 weeks wondering if I had cancer,
what was I going to do,
could I really fight this battle
would I lose my hair because of some medication........
What about this, what about that...................it was TORTURE.

Biopsy day was upon us. I cleaned my room (nervous energy)...........hubby drove and we picked up Rose on the way (AS ORDERED). We arrived at the place, Hubby checked his email on their computers while I waited to be called in. During the preliminary part - I cried like a 2 year old. Did I mention that the only medical things I have endured was going to the hospital, popping out a kid, then going back home!!!! One of the nurses told me she'd be with me the whole time and then gave me hugs (gotta love that!!). After 2 burning shots to numb the pain, 5 samples being taken, a clip being put into my breast (that let's future doctors know that a biopsy has been done on that particular breast) and another mammorgram to make sure the clip was in the right place, I was done. Hubby, Rose and I went to breakfast so I could have something in my stopach before taking more pain meds.

I spent the rest of the day laying down, no one in my family would let me do ANYTHING - that's WAY cool. I did answer numerous "are you OK?" texts and a few calls from Mama and Daddy checking on baby girl - I LOVE MOMMY AND DADDY.

The day after the procedure, I stayed in bed, number 1 son watched after me - he's become quite an accomplished herbal tea maker.
Then the phone rang and a very excited voice on the other end said "I couldn't wait to call you with the good news, Your masses are NON-CANCEROUS, you will receive a letter in the mail, we will want to see you again in 6 months!!!!!!!

What's the moral of this story: Put your trust in God and let the doctors do what they are trained to do. Don't be afraid of ANYTHING - especially medical tests, they are there for a reason.......Everything is for a reason.........If my physicians office hadn't started harrassing me about getting a mammogram, I would still be running around being "busy" - too busy to take care of myself properly.

Chamomile Tea awaits.

Peace Lovies!!

My 3 Sons

2009-04-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

Well, It's Easter Sunday and I love the holidays mainly because I get to have everyone together. Getting older and having kids in college makes it much more enjoyable when they are all home. There are the constant arguments, chiding, silliness, poking fun at each other and joking that a parent LOVES. Of course, I had to get out my new camera and take some pics of these silly people. Unfortunately, my daughter was very uncooperative to the picture taking - but her PROM is coming soon and I will REALLY get her then. LOL!!

So, here they are, my silly babies - the ones who make life VERY interesting. They also turn quite a few heads when they are all together:

My youngest on the left and my middle son on the right. Do you like the Bob Marley T-shirts??

If you get one acting right, then the other two start acting STUPID. Oh well, it makes life FUN.

Believe it or not, getting these guys to stand still long enough to take a picture together is like catching flies. You gotta love it.

Peace Lovies!!

Three Months

2009-04-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

Now that I have a new camera, I don't have to continue to terrorize any of you with those horrible pictures from my cell phone. HA HA HA!!

I am about 2 weeks shy of my 4 month anniversary and let me tell you, I have been having a BALL with my hair. I have stuck to a good schedule of retightenings - I don't know how long they take because I always do them over a period of 3 or 4 days. Because I have almost 440 locs, it takes a while to get the retights done and I'm definitely not trying to rush.

What is my hair doing?

1. My locs have started to shrink up - I've read on some other blods that it's normal as they start to loc. I don't have a lot of stretchy-ness to them any more so I'm just letting them do their thing.

2. Washing them is very easy because I have NO gel or anything on them. Because I'm a liturgical dancer, I have to wash my hair about twice weekly and I thought it would be a problem but it's not.

3. During my last retightening a couple weeks ago, I noticed that I had a loc with a huge knot in it. So, it took about 30 minutes, but I got it picked apart and re-braided......it freaked me out because I didn't know HOW that happened.

I hadn't really discussed locking my hair with my husband because I had mentioned it about a year ago and he was very against it. Well, through this process I figured I would tackle the discussion when it came up. Well, that day came last Friday........a woman he worked with commented about my hair and asked if I was locking it, whe he asked me, I definitely wasn't going to lie. So, I told him and he jokingly said, "You know that's grounds for divorce right?" We had a good laugh off of it and all is well. He'll get used to it over time.

I have continued to spritz my hair daily with my mixture of rosemary oil and water. These midwestern winters are murder on our hair - I'm glad spring is here, finally because my hair LOVES the dampness that comes with this time of year.

Time to try the new Black Pearl Herbal Tea that my hubby bought for me this weekend.

Peace Lovies!!

#1 Son

2009-04-06T07:15:00.001-07:00

This is my oldest stricking his famous pose. It's April and I can't believe he has passed his 1 year mark.

I got a new camera ya'll.................YAY ME!!! LOL

Anyhoo, I decided to post pics of all of my sons locs. My oldest is 22 years old and he is currently at his 13 month mark. His locs are coming along quite nicely if I may say so myself. His hair was really short when he started, so he had comb coils put in at a salon when he was home on spring break last year (March 08). When he returned to school, a young lady retightened them and used BEEZWAX. I would NEVER recommend using that. His hair turned into a gunky MESS!! Long story short, I finally ended up using Palmolive Dishwashing Liquid on his hair to get that mess out. His routine is simple, every 6 or 7 weeks, after he has washed his hair, I twist it using "Organic Root Stimulator Twist and Loc Gel". I band 5 or 6 of his locs together to hold them in a tight pattern while they airdry. I prefer using this method because the roots dry in a close twisted pattern and the gel is light with no buildup.

This is what it looks like when I retighten his hair. He will typically let this dry over night. If he has to go somewhere, I will blowdry the roots - but I don't do that very often. I leave his bands pretty loose to allow the hair to draw up as it dries, which is what 'our hair' is notorious for doing.

Up close shots. I did his retightening about 3 weeks ago. How the roots have maintained their tight twist pattern??

Side View. He's fully loc'd and they are beginning to lengthen themselves out. I palm roll his locs only when I see that they are starting to do something funky. Palm rolling is an excellent way to keep the locs in check, but you don't want to do it all the time and risk weakening the loc.

Back view

That's all for him right now........I will add another post of my other two sons in a couple days.

Peace Lovies!!

What's Going On?? (part 2)

2009-03-17T11:36:00.000-07:00

If you read the last post, you know that I was all up in the air regarding my middle son. Well, I felt I owed my readers an update so here it is........

There are a couple things I'd like to share with you:
1. As a mother, it is a great feeling when your children truly grow into who they are. As they grow up, you start to recognize personality traits. If you have more than one, like me, you start to see drastic similarities and differences between them. As they get older (approaching adulthood or just entering adulthood) you have a Glory Hallelujah moment when you really see them embrace their traits and start to BECOME who they are. Having said that, I am happy to report that these drum corps people have picked the WRONG negro to mess with. Which brings me to my next point.

2. When my middle son was about 4 years old, we took an afternoon trip to the Mall (just the two of us) while hubby was at work and our oldest was in school. We were walking along and ran across a caucasion women with her baby girl. My son said "Mommy look at the pretty baby". "Yes, you see the baby girl, isn't she pretty" I said to him, softly in an effort to congratulate him on being observant. "She's pretty Mommy, but when is she going to turn BLACK like the rest of us". At that very moment, I knew I wasn't dealing with your average child....LOL!!

Well, fast forward to this Drum Corps situation. After being very HEATED, my son immediately put his intellectual strengths to work. He's spent the better part of the last 3 weeks researching, looking at internet pics of this corps past competitions and he's gathered some very interesting and well documented facts. There have been young men and women in past competitions with earrings in their eyebrows, noses, lips, gauges in their ears (for all of you that don't know, a gauge is a disc type gadget people use to make a huge hole in their earlobe and it is very popular among caucasian youth and young adults). The funny part of it is, all of these practices are alleged to be against the dress code within the corps that my son plans to march in. He also went as far as to talk to the head drum major of this corps (who is white) and was told; "Man your locs are cool, don't cut them for any reason, unless you want to. There have been people in the past marching with all kinds of different hair styles, tattoos, earrings and stuff, so it's ridiculous for them to try and make you cut your hair". So, my son has decided that he's definitely not going to cut his hair but he is going to march and he will just take the necessary percautions to make sure his hair is tucked neatly under his helment during competitions. Keep in mind that we offered this as a solution when this whole thing came up, but we were told "The Corps has to maintain a certain image when the kids are in competion and even rehearsal". So that very statemtent has caused my son to wonder how multiple pearcings and gauges project a good image and and locs project a bad one.

Needless to say, he plans to push this thing to it's limit and all I can say is, GOOD FOR HIM. Our youth and young adults need to learn not to just take stuff lying down - respectfully ask questions and don't just accept things at face value.

He has to attend a Drum Corps Camp this weekend and plans to inform the 'powers-that-be' of his final decision. I'm sure there will be more to come.

Peace Lovies!!

What's Goin' On???

2009-02-26T06:23:00.000-08:00

Alright Ya'll, I have to VENT. Pictured on the left are my 3 sons - the picture was taken in September '08. At that time the two big boys were 6 months into their loc processes and my little one was only 1 month into his process. Both big boys are two weeks away from their 1 year mark and they are progressing extremely well. Bryen (the one on the left) has learned how to maintain his own hair. He is a music education student at University of Louisville, plays tuba and is preparing to march this summer in a drum corps. He's marched with them before and it was a great experience for him. He definitely understands that a certain appearance must be maintained during competition - but this drum corps thing is the cause of my now having to VENT.

My son was just informed via an extremely unprofessional email that in order to march, he must cut his locs.....WHAT??? Yes, he must cut his locs. Needless to say, Mama and Daddy ain't happy about this at all. I have emailed the director and also requested a copy of the participants contract that he recently signed. He was told that the corps has an 'image' that their board of directors wants maintained.......do ya'll see where THIS is going?

I am typically NOT the one to holler discrimination or racism - but I do feel that this is an issue that we cannot let just pass without at least questioning the reasons, the process involved, etc. Wearing locs is something that he's wanted to do for a very long time. My son has done his research and knows that this rule is unique to a few corps and is not a part of the national governing body that all corps' participate in. Needless to say, I do plan to press this issue if for nothing more, than to cause some necessary discussions to take place. Ultimately it is HIS decision to make and, of course, I will support his decision (even though my position is that he just doesn't march) - and yes, I do understand that it's just hair and he could easily start over with a fresh set of locs after the season ends in August. However, I do feel as though they are encroaching on his right to self expression. I will keep you posted on the progress.

Peace Lovies!!

Second Retight Complete

2009-02-20T13:12:00.001-08:00

So What's up??

2009-02-20T06:18:00.000-08:00

I am not my hair but I definitely LOVE my hair!!

I completed my 2nd retight and things are progressing pretty well. After washing my hair, I always braid it so when it dries, it has it's own wavy crinkly thing going on - which explains the lumpy look you see over there. Still haven't purchased a new digital camera so, this horrible pic from my camera phone will have to do.

What have I learned so far:

1. I have learned that I truly LOVE my hair - Crooked parts and all!!!!!! One thing I am definitely NOT concerned about is having perfect - gyometrically straight parts. I am more concerned with the overall health of my hair than the parts within it. My hair is so thick - no one will ever see my scalp anyway so who cares. Not to offend anyone, but I had to get that out because in a couple of the groups that I'm in, I've witnessed people taking down their beautiful locs and starting over simply because their parts were crooked. Everyone has to do what they have to do - so if you are not satisfied with your hair for any reason, and your feel you need a fresh start then you should DEFINITELY do it. For me, imperfect parts fit my overall imperfect personality.

2. There are no BAD hair days. Every day is a new adventure as well as a new opportunity to learn something different about myself and my hair. This daily newness has helped to awaken my creative side. I have made several pair of crochet earrings - here is a pic of the first set:

My mother made sure I knew how to knit, crochet, take care of my own hair, cook, run a household, etc. It was her mission that I never have to rely on anyone else. Appreciating my hair for what it is has bled off into so many other areas of my life. I've been working on starting my business designing jewelry and purses. Everything will be launched soon - so stay tuned. This pic is my first attempt at crochet earrings. Hubby made a joke that they look like coasters.....LOL!! Then I put them on, and he was pretty impressed and encouraged me to make more of them.

This is my second pair. You probably can't tell, but it's a cream yarn with a metallic gold weave. I saw the yarn at Walmart and just had to have it. I will post pictures very soon of my beaded jewelry

3. My hair LOVES water. It's funny that we told all our lives that water is the 'enemy' of black hair. We learned to avoid it when we were little because we didn't want our hair to go BACK and have to get it washed and pressed again. Now, water is my best friend. I have my own mixture of water and a few drops of rosemary oil that I spray on my hair daily. I have no dandruff or itching. This may not be a good idea for everyone, but for me - in these cold midwestern winter months, the moisture is exactly what my hair needs.

4. I am not concerned about length at all. This journey has helped me even more to let my hair do what it do. I have tightly coiled hair that shrinks up a lot - I spent my first natural year doing everything in my power to un-shrink my hair so I could show off length and volume. Well, in retrospect, that's pretty darn STUPID. Thank God for deliverance!!

5. I've learned to embrace un-learning. I would say that the most important thing to learn in this journey is that you have to un-learn everything that you learned growing up. Doesn't really make sense does it?? In order to take this journey, everything that you once thought was wrong, or bad, must be embraced as GOOD. My hair is strong, stubborn and makes NO apology for being what it is - coarse and coily. I've learned to listen to my hair and let it tell me what it needs instead of me telling IT what I think it needs.

I hope to have my digital camera replaced very soon so you don't have to be terrorized by these scary cell phone pictures. Well, time for tea. Today it's going to be a cleansing Yogi Tea.

Peace Lovies!!

Nobody can do you better the YOU can do you!!!

2009-02-04T10:33:00.001-08:00

I am truly a blessed woman. I have 4 children and several Godchildren ranging in age from infant to grown-married-with children of their own. My godchildren call me "G-Ma" and I try to keep in contact with them as much as possible and i never fail to show up and jerk a knot in one of their BUTTS when necessary. I have even showed up at one of my goddaughters school on occasion (when she was bent on being disrespectful and acting a FOOL - she hated that....LOL! !) Having Godchildren is absolutely the best because you don't have to take their feelings into consideration like you do your own.

However, today I did get some distressing news regarding 2 of my goddaughters. Needless to say, G-Ma is now taking a very active role (more than I have been) in their overall welfare. I feel that their parents are doing a great job and I am not judging them at all.......they both work and can't be everywhere all at once. But, it does take a whole village to raise a child. So, if you have godchildren, neices, nephews or close friends with small children, GET INVOLVED. Be nosey, ask questions - if you are lucky enough to be in their school files (like I am) show up at the school once in a while, let them know that you care about them every chance you get.

Peace Lovies!!

God Bless Jennifer!!

2009-02-02T18:23:00.001-08:00

While I didn't watch the entire superbowl, I just had to take a moment and give a shout out to Jennifer Hudson who sounded as amazing as she looked. When I think about all that she has been through.........to watch her belt out an arrangement of the National Anthem that ranks right up there with Whitney Houston and Marvin Gaye, brought tears to my eyes. She has shown a great deal of faith, strength and grace through these tough times. My prayers are with her and her family.

GOD BLESS YOU JENNIFER!!!!!

PEACE!!

First Retight!!

2009-01-27T20:48:00.000-08:00

Well,

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is, I FINISHED MY FIRST DIY RETIGHTENING. HOORAY FOR ME!!!!!!

The bad news is, my son's digital camera is broke so I had to take these pics with my cell phone. They are pretty CRAPPY aren't they??

It took about 8 hours - spread out over a two-day period. I selected this time because it's been pretty cold and snowing, so I haven't wanted to get out much. All in all, it went pretty well......if I do say so myself. I had to totally re-braid 5 braids and I had to pick apart about 3 that I accidentally joined together in the back (OUCH!!).
I made my own tool out of Art and Craft Wire:

I'm sorry that these pics SUCK, but I just wanted to keep ya'll posted on the progress. I have begun a process of re-learning my hair, which is actually pretty FUN. My hair is basically really dense and tightly coiled. However, the hair on the very top (from the crown to the front hairline) is a straighter texture and it requires different handling than the back and sides. I didn't do enough rotations to make my hair tight - because I just don't believe that's healthy for your hair overall. But, in the front, especially around the hairline, I was very careful only to do so much. I do have two seak spots on my head - my temples. The women of my family don't bald, but we have very weak hair around the temples. Originally I was going to wait another week to do the retightening one reason was because I didn't think I had enough new growth and the other reason was I WAS SCARED TO DEATH!! But, I decided to go ahead and take the plunge and found that it didn't take as long as I thought to get the hang of it. THANK GOD for Nubianlockedprincess and her video tutorial - I'm going to save some herbal to and a piece of apple pie for her!! Because of her, I was able to do the basic 4 point rotation on 80% of my head and there were spots that I could only do 3 or 2 rotations because my hair definitely does NOT grow at the same pace all over.

I'm pretty proud of myself and i'm going to treat myself to a nice cup of Spice Black Tea. I'm snowed in today - 10 inches of snow on the ground!!!!!!

Peace Lovies!!

Happy Anniversary

2009-01-22T06:20:00.001-08:00

OK. OK. I know it's only been a month, but I just couldn't help it. LOL!! My braidlocs are 1 month old and they are holding up pretty well. I've only had to rebraid 2 of them and I have survived 1 washing of them thus far. I plan to wash them again tonight (after dance practice - they will really need it by then, TRUST ME trust me on that). I have blocked out time on my calendar for my re-twist. Even though I am doing this myself, I know that I must 'plan' the time, or I will get busy and won't do it right. You HAVE to really, really know yo-self to take this journey.

Our new president has really inspired me to step up and make changes in my own life. Change is an on-going process, but it takes dedication - just like stepping into the world of LOCS. So, I pledge to BE the CHANGE and I hope you will join in on the journey of CHANGE with me.

Peace Lovies!!

Happy Birthday to the DREAMER!!

2009-01-19T14:53:00.001-08:00

I'm sure everyone has their own personal way of remembering Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. We chose to watch every movie and documentary we could find on him, while switching back and forth between all of the Obama pre-inauguration events taking place in DC. Unfortunately to our children, Dr. King will always be someone they read about in a history book. As parents, the responsible thing to do is to work hard to keep our children connected to WHY they have the rights they do, and WHO are the named and nameless souls who dared to give their lives for our future. My husband and I have almost demanded that in addition to our children learning their history, they practice respect for it. Why?? Because we feel strongly that if they can't respect their past they will NEVER respect themselves. It's OK to disagree, but without respect, we will never survive. That's what Dr. King was trying to teach us.

Barak Obama is going to be a great president. His strength of character will restore respect from around the world.

Michelle Obama will leave a legacy a strength and pride for our daughters to embrace and follow. Together THEY are the hope of the Greatest DREAMER!!

Thank you Dr. King!! Never would have made it without YOU!!!!!!!!

Milestones

2009-01-13T07:45:00.000-08:00

I am the proud mother of 3 sons and 1 daughter. My daughter turned 18 on Monday (January 12th). I remember the afro puffs, dolls, her curled up sleeping on Daddy's chest as an infant, clinging to me when she was sick, the stormy winters night when she was born, her first latching on to me to be fed.............WOW!! Watching her lately has become the most interesting thing in the world. As I have evolved and become more like my mother, she has grown intelectually and beauty. The thing I find most interesting is what happens when you start to see all of the seeds you planted in your children come to life. She won't take any mess off anyone, tries to treat people well, keeps her beau/male friends and significant others very much in check and understands Pre Calculus and Chemistry better than I ever did....LOL!!

**This is a picture of her at the Grand Canyon with one of her Marching Band Buddies on a recent band trip to Arizona.

It's shocking to see your children start turning into THEMSELVES - it's also a little scary, because that's when they start using your words against you, challenging you on YOUR principles, asking more and more questions and affirming themselves in the world. This is the transitional time as a parent when you must step back from the child and watch from a distance while she finds her way. Soon she will leave the nest and move into a college dorm. Then the fun really starts as hubby and I will no longer be able to monitor her comings and goings. But, now is the time to excercise great faith - this is the time to rest in the fact that we have taught her as much as we could, nurtured her as best we could...........and just like we couldn't keep her from falling off her bike as a child, we wouldn't dream of keeping her from going out into the world and finding IT as it finds her. We have been through this twice with our two oldest sons so you would think that I would be used to this feeling by now, but it sure is different when it's a baby GIRL.

Peace Lovies!!

Stay True

2009-01-07T08:11:00.000-08:00

Hello all,
2009 is off to a wonderful start. I have re-connected with my passion for starting my jewelry business and have been making new creations since the New Year's day. The goal is to have my web page up and running by the 1st of February and I am very excited.

With every new re-connection, revelation, step-in-the-right-direction, reevaluation or what ever you want to call it, there comes some silly nonsense. For the last 2 days, there have been some pretty ridiculous stuff going on around me, all trying to enter my spirit, my world and my realm. I have some principles that I live by on a daily basis, as I'm sure you do too. One valuable principle that I learned from my darling husband is not to let the actions of others pull (or force) you out of who you are as a person. When we were dating, things would happen to him and it seriously puzzled me how he could hold his composure and take the diplomatic high road. He has his moments and buttons, just like anybody else, but for the most part, he tries to stay on track and I have learned a lot from watching that in him all these years.

I know who I am but I have to work daily to stay in touch my ME and not get sidetracked by others definition of the 'me' that others 'think' they know. Sounds crazy? Take some time to think about the people you cross paths with everyday (at church, work, school, etc.), think about the things you go through with them and take some time to carefully consider how you react to those things (good and bad). Stay true to who you know you are......if you don't know who you are, quickly set aside some time to figure that out. Once you are aware of it, confess it daily and walk in it.

Peace Lovies!!
Life is a journey, we never arrive we we simply evolve.

1st Wash

2009-01-07T07:33:00.000-08:00

I have had my braidlocs in for about 3 weeks and it was time for a wash. I wasn't scared to wash my hair, I wore twists for 7 straight months last year and I washed my twists all the time with Dr. Bonners Castille soap with Hemp and Almond Oil in it. I washed my braids and put them it big plats and let my hair dry over night - this is probably my own variation of the SL braid and band method.

I took out the braids this morning and here are the results: So, I guess you can call this a braidout - or something. LOL!!

There are a MILLION shampoos out there that are really good. My personal practice is 'use what works best for you'. Dr. Bonners is the best that I have used - and believe me, I have tried some of EVERYTHING. LOL!!

So, analysis of my first wash, SUCESS - I had to re-braid 1 braidloc. Not bad!! As a reward, I'm gonna treat myself to some rasberry herbal tea. Care to join me?

PEACE LOVIES!!

Hugs To You!!

2008-12-31T09:14:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!!!!!!

I retightened a young man's locs last night (my daughters new 'friend'). He was very reluctant to have me do his hair because he didn't have any money to pay me.....(broke college student). The smile on his face (not to mention my daughters), the numerous compliments and the hug I got were all the payment I needed.

In thinking about the whole incident, I thought about all those who probably can't even remember the last time they got a hug - so I'm sending out this group hug to anybody who hasn't had one in a while. Happy New Year!! I hope and pray that your year is filled with plenty of hugs, laughter and smiles......enough to carry you through the tough times that will surely fined each and every one of us at some point in '09.

Peace Lovies!!

Strong Women

2008-12-30T09:56:00.000-08:00

"Women are like teabags, you never know how strong they are until you put them in hot water" ............... Eleanore Roosevelt

This is one of my favorite quotes because often, we don't know how strong we are and how much we can bear until we find ourselves facing some adversity. Here's to the sistahs. Stay strong!!

Peace Lovies!!

Memorable Compliments

2008-12-30T09:46:00.000-08:00

I am not self conscious about my hair at all, I'm just too dang old for that LOL!!

But, I got a couple shout outs about my hair that I wanted to share.

I work at a small restaurant in a predominantly white area. The other day, some ladies were seated in my area and when I approached their table, one of them said "Oh look guys, we got the waitress with the REALLY COOL HAIR. I didn't know what to think, was this a compliment or a quip?? But before I could even think or react she continued with "While we were waiting, you walked passed us and we talked about how cool your hair is. I've never seen anything like it, it's absolutely amazing". Then they left me a $15 tip. Not bad.....

This morning, I was in the store and I got stopped by a woman who wanted to know if I had sisterlocs. I told her "no" and went on to explain that I did them myself, they were braidlocs, blah, blah, blah. I was really flattered by the compliment especially being compared to those who spend a great deal of time and money perfecting their sisterloc skills.

Peace Lovies!!

Maryee's Sisterlock Journey: Are You New To The Natural Hair Blogging Community?

2008-12-30T08:47:00.000-08:00

If you are new to blogging, as I am, you probably need a little guidance. I was fiddling around on line this morning and learned a lot from reading this blog.

Maryee's Sisterlock Journey: Are You New To The Natural Hair Blogging Community?

Peace Lovies!!

Knock-Knock

2008-12-24T06:04:00.000-08:00

Is there someone inside you that is desparately trying to get out?? Who were you created to be?? Who are you, right now - who are you supposed to be??

These are questions that each of us must ask ourselves at some point in our lives here on earth.

Who is that person deep inside you, knocking on the door of your heart's mind. That person who possibly got tuched away years ago because he/she didn't fit, didn't flow, somebody hurt him or her by a careless deed or word. Maybe he/she is a writer, an entreprenuer, an artist, a lawyer, a dancer, a playwright, a recording artist, a minister. No one can tell you who that person is, although many will try. Preachers, teachers, councelors, friends, siblings and parents all "think" they know because most have your best interest at heart and some have known you all your life. So typically they have no shortage of thoughts and responses on this very subject as it relates to you finding out who YOU really are. But, all the time & true love in the world won't give you the insight into you that is completely unobstructed. That kind of insight can only come from the one who created you. The one who knows your every thought, beat of your heart, fiber of your being, and provides everything you need to live. Only He truly knows, he's the one and he's waiting to answer your questions.....all you need to do is ask.

How?? How do you get to that place where it's just you and Him....that 'private party'. Many books have been written on this very subject and most books have made the process a lot more complicated than it really needs to be. How do I know, because I read a lot of those books, to no avail - and had to figure it out on my own. It's very simple really:

Schedule some alone time, down time, YOU time.....some selfish "YOU" time. Make it a priority, right up there with a hair, manicure or pedicure appointment, and once it's scheduled, STICK TO IT.

What you will need:

1. A Journal - something special, but it doesn't have to be expensive. A $3 pad from Wal-Mart with a pretty cover that you like will do just fine.

2. My personal Favorite: A pot of Rasberry Herbal Tea. Not a tea drinker?? Pick your favorite flavored water, sweet tea, kool-air or even your favorite Soda. NO ALCOHOL!!! You want your mind clear and free.

3. Your favorite Scented Candle to set the right atmosphere

4. A picture that inspires you. My husband buys me calendars that have beautiful black art, mostly liturgical or african dancers, they are absolutely breathtaking and deeply touch my creative and afrocentric side. Yours may be a picture of your pastor, kids, favorite poet, Maya Angelou, an african prince, princess or warrior, or something as simple as a flower. Whatever your picture is, make sure it's something that speaks positively to you.

Got everything together?? Good. Now pick your spot. Mine is my little corner of my bedroom. Make sure its clean and clutter free. A cluttered room gives of negative vibes - think about how you feel when you come home to a messy house vs when you come home to one that is clean and everything is in order. Sitting in a messy room will definitely block your positive energy flow.

Now What??

Sit down in your clean quiet space, drink your drink and write. Vent, dream, forgive yourself, forgive someone else, write a letter to yourself, cuss somebody out, complain, just let go. I hear you saying already "I'm not much of a writer"........you won't be graded on this and unless you decide to show your writings to someone, no one will ever read them - so let go of thinking that you can't write, if you can read, you can write. Just let go!!!! Let your pen and tears flow. Ask yourself questions and keep writing until.......................................until what??

Until you feel better, your head stops pounding, your mind clears, the negative thoughts stop, the tightness in your chest loosens and your back stops hurting. I guarantee you will get a few revelations - write those down to and refer to them often. Make this practice an important part of your life for your life. I do it as often as I need to.

Peace to you on YOUR journey.

Rebirth - A brand New Journey

2008-12-24T05:31:00.000-08:00

December 24th: Where ever you are, whatever you are doing and whatever your personal religious beliefs and practices are, I hope and pray that this season is filled with love, positive vibes, positive people, lots of herbal tea and plenty of laughs.

Every hear during this season (after my December 2nd birthday - through the end of the year) I spend a lot of time thinking about my life, what's past - and definitely what's yet to come. Last year, the day after my birthday, I gave 1 month's notice on the job that I had. This year is no different - it's time for another change, transition, turning of the page, moving to the next level, birth, re-birth, whatever you want to call it, it's time.......maybe it's past time.

I have been natural for 3 years, one of these days I will have to tell you THAT story. Over the years I have spent time thinking about wearing locs, but I was always afraid of a whole lot of things connected to that. Also there was that question that sent CHILLS down my spine "what will I do when and if I decide that I don't want locs anymore?" Well, as you know from my last entry, FEAR was one of the things I really worked on this year. The funny thing is once you start conquering fears (stepping out on faith, flowing in the spirit, jumpin' the broom - whatever you need to call it) there is really no turning back. Uncovering one thing births a desire to uncover a few more things - as life is one BIG vine - everything is inter-connected.

For 7 months of 2008, I wore twists, loving the freedom from daily styling and manipulation. It was also during dance practices, and performances to wash my twists and let them airdry as apposed to washing out an afro, detangling my hair, braiding it up so it could airdry or blow drying it. I have also helped all 3 of my sons start their locs - my two oldest (21 and 20 years old) are 90% loc'd now and they are loving every minute of it. My little one (13 years old-TODAY) is still in transition - but loving his twists which are truly doing a thing of their own right now. He's so darn CUTE that he adds a sense of chic to those twists going in every conceivable direction.

On the 20th of December, the decision was made. After reading HORROR STORIES on Lock-It-Up from those who had gotten Sisterlocs and had to have them either taken down or re-done. After coming to the full knowledge that there was no way on this green earth that I would ever spend $500+ on my HAIR (don't mean nobody any harm, that's just ME). After thinking about what I would do, or could do when and if I ever made the decision that I didn't want locs anymore, the decision was made!! 21 hours of loving labor (did I mention that I am very much a do-it-yo-dang-self woman??) a few football games on TV with the boys, Spongebob Squarepants with my youngest, a few episodes of Top Chef on Bravo and a lot of Lifetime Movies - aching arms and a numb boody (hee hee hee) my 435 braidloc babies were born. Here I am on a brand new journey.

By the way, the answer to the question "What will I do when and if I decide that I don't want locs anymore" - I will cut my hair and start a BRAND NEW JOURNEY.

LIFE IS A JOURNEY NOT A DESTINATION, YOU NEVER ARRIVE, YOU JUST TRANSFORM FROM ONE JOURNEY TO THE NEXT.

Peace Lovies!!

Breakthrough

2008-11-30T06:51:00.000-08:00

About two years ago, I decided to join the Dance Ministry at my church. I was 42 years old and had never studied dance. Dance was something that I wanted to do, but as a child was too chicken to try. It was one of those things that I spent a great deal of time telling myself I couldn't do because I wasn't pretty, wasn't coordinated, to skinny, blah, blah, blah - the list of 'I can'ts" were endless. Well, as I got older, I set myself on a path to correct a lot of things that had shaped my life (in a negative way) and dance was one of those things. I'd sung all my life and was very comfortable, confident and capable. But, to get up in front of a crowd of people and move your entire body around - was a different story entirely. Not to mention, I don't have a dancers, tight, taught, rippling, slim body. So, there were many, many things working against me - so I thought. Well, I started, loved it, adapted to it faster than I thought I would, laughed at the humorous comments, humbled myself at the positive comments and let the negative ones propell me to work even harder at it.

About a month ago I received an invitation from the church where my oldest son serves as minister of music. They were asking me (of all people) to do a worship dance for their pastor's anniversary. Well, after all that I had endured, all the inner growth, etc. my most immediate response was NO. I had some pretty good reasons too: "I'm not that good of a dancer", "Are they sure they want ME", "They really need someone more experienced"......blah, blah, blah. So, I gave my chicken-hearted answer and thought that was the end of it - but it wasn't.

The next 48 hours were almost unbearable - my spirit tormented me: "How can you have told your children all their lives that they can do ANYTHING - but you don't believe it for yourself....hypocrite!!". "After all these years, you still don't have any faith in God or yourself". "What makes you think you have the right to refuse an opportunity from the Lord". "Do you know how many people would love to be in this position". "If you don't take this chance, you will wonder all your life what you could have done".

After hearing all those things repeatedly, I humbled myself and changed my no to a YES. To my suprise, I wasn't afraid, nervouse, intimidated or anything of the sort. I was guided by the holy spirit to the right song, right outfit, right moves, everything. It was truly a time of surrender and breakthrough for me. I can't even describe the feeling of freedom and confidence that this one experience gave me. I realized that it wasn't so much what others said that held me back from one of my dreams, it was mostly what I was saying to myself that put a glass ceiling over my life.

So, whatever your fears are, whatever it is that is holding you back from doing (or at least trying) that thing that you've wanted to do all your life, grab hold of it and CHOKE IT TO DEATH!! LOL!! There is so much livin' that is waiting for you - they said, he said, she said - well, what do YOU say?? Conquer your fears, if you are speaking negative in your own life, re-direct your thoughts to a more positive level and your words and actions will soon follow.

"Nothin' beats a failure like a try". (Rosie Moore - my mama)

Welcome to the Upper Room

2008-11-24T06:06:00.000-08:00

Greetings and welcome to the Upper Room, my own little sanctuary where the insence is burning, the candles are lit, India.Arie is playing softly in the background and the raspberry herbal tea is flowing.

What’s the topic for today?? Whatever our mood takes us, natural hair care, health, wholistic living, children, marriage, nutrition, you name it and I will blog about it sooner or later.

Who am I? Afrolady: A 44 years old, wife, mother of 4, a woman with an afro, the lady with the twisties, the African queen, afro diva, herbal tea drinker, green smoothie drinker, vegetarian, animal lover, religious fanatic, singer, psalmist, spiritualist, middle-aged liturgical dancer, chocolate, meanie, old lady, passionate, emotional, crazy and a B on wheels. It doesn’t matter what you call me because I’ve heard it all – and they are all facets of the many, many sides and layers of ME.

No matter what you call me, know for sure that I love life and plan to experience it for as long as possible. The purpose of this blog – is my little way of helping you enjoy yours as much as I am enjoying mine. I am having a ball, watching my children grow up and stepping into their own true selves – sending them out into their lives while resting in the knowledge that their father and I have taught them what we can and the rest is totally up to them. Being middle aged means that I get to hear the chuckles and giggles of our youth and young adults who think they know it all while being simultaneously serenaded by the hearty laughter of my elders as they rest in the wisdom that their years have purchased.

Come on in the room – take a seat. Enjoy the chamomile tea and fresh fruit of the earth and spirit.